Made Perfect in Weakness

  Hey friends :)  I just want to say, thank you for reading the things I write.  I truly appreciate the time that you take to read my thoughts and life.

  My God never ceases to amaze me.  His sweet love, mercy, and grace continues to win my heart over and over.  The way He guides me and uses me even when I don't deserve to be used, it honestly takes my breath away.  I'm so thankful for His promise. Philippians 1:6 "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

    Today was the worst and best work day I've ever experienced.  When I woke up today, I had absolutely no desire to go to work.  This is strange for me.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a workaholic or anything, but I love going in to work, seeing the regular customers and my co-workers and also having the knowledge that I'm working to pay off my education.  Normally at work I'm pretty chipper and happy.  Not today.  It's hard to describe, but I was almost depressed this morning?  Now I can look back and see that Satan was attacking me and trying to keep me from the day and mission that God had in store.  When I got to work, the second customer in line was a very rich, but not very nice lady.  Little to say it was not a stellar start to my shift.  During this whole day, I kept on making really, really stupid mistakes.  For example, once I told a customer her total was $3.07.  That was the time. A while later, another very, very not nice customer came in.  She began yelling some not very nice things at me in the store because her check wouldn't process.  Then she proceeded to tell me she would never step foot in our store again.  I bit my tongue before I got out the words, "thank God." After she left I cried.  Yes, a customer made me cry.  This is also a strange thing about today.  I don't cry.  Well, I mean I cry sometimes, like when people die or someone really hurts me, but crying is not something that I do very easily.  At that point, I was so tempted to go punch out and leave.  My attitude was stinky, I had mean customers, and work was the last place I wanted to be at that moment.  Boy am I glad I didn't leave.

     I firmly believe that as the body of Christ we are to be "in the world".  I mean, where does Jesus reach people?  Right where they are.  He doesn't wait to win them until they have stepped in to a building we call Church.  Jesus is where the people who need Him are. He climbs in to the dirty filthy dungeons to release captives from their bondage and slavery to sin.  If we're pursuing Jesus and becoming more like Him, should our lives look any different?

     That being said, I think that secular workplaces can be one of the greatest "mission fields".  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about going and passing out cheesy tracts on break time.  I'm talking about making relationships, getting to know peoples stories, seeing where they've come from and what has made them into who they are.  Knowing someone's heart is much more important than their outward behavior.  Once you get to know someone behind their language, course humor, addictions, you can see the void and pain in their life. There is always a story behind the face.

     This brings me back to my worst and best workday.  Now I'm getting to the best.  It is my heart that my unsaved family, friends, and coworkers would find the same life, love and freedom that I've found in Jesus Christ.  That their eyes would be filled with hope and peace rather than emptiness.  Today I had an opportunity to share the Gospel with one of my friends at work.  This guy thinks he is a pretty tough.  He is super nice, but he is a little rough around the edges to say the least.  During the end of my shift, things started to get kind of slow.  I was still having a rotten attitude and just a plain out not good day.  I was just chilling with him at the registers, then we started talking.  He started pouring out his life to me and how he'd OD'd and tried so many times to take his life but was never successful.  How many times he should have died but didn't and how much he wished he was, to be "free".  Here is where the Holy Spirit kicked into gear big time. I was able to share with him God's protection over his life and the hope that can be found in our Jesus.  That the reason why he wasn't successful was because his life was created with a purpose.  That God loved him and didn't want him to go to hell.  It was the most awesome conversation that I've had at work and I know the words coming out of my mouth weren't mine.  He was so receptive and said he'd think about what I'd said.  Now comes time for more intercession.

     I just wanted to share this story because I was so completely humbled by God's ability to use weak things (me).  Today was probably one of my weakest days.  I didn't feel strong, spiritual, or even friendly today.  In spite of myself, God chose to use me.  Not because of anything that I'd done, but because of what He's done.  I'm so humbled, so thankful.

Praise Your name, Jesus, You make beautiful things out of dust.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Best Kind of Christmas

  Hello sweet friends :) Merry Christmas!!  I was sitting here with a few minutes to spare and just wanted to write down some thoughts about today.  


  The past couple weeks since break has started have been pretty crazy/hectic.  First, I had my teaching practicum which was wonderful, but I ended up catching a bad cold from one of the kiddos.  Right after I got better from my cold, my wisdom tooth became infected and I needed to go on antibiotics and also learned that I'll need to get both of them out before break is over.  During that time I've also been working about 40 hours a week.  My mom also works two jobs and has a busy schedule. Needless to say, there hasn't been to much time to do "Christmasy" things.


   My family definitely isn't one that would be categorized under "traditional".  We're not exactly the sit around the fire place singing Christmas carols, cutting out cookies type.  Now don't get me wrong, I think that some of the traditions of Christmas are wonderful, we keep a few little ones, but that just usually isn't usually my family.  I mean, we just got out un-decorated tree up on the 23rd, haha :)


  The older I get, the more I realize it's not the things or even traditions that matter in life.  The only things of real value in this life are our relationship with Jesus Christ and people.  With all of that being said, let me tell you about today and why is so great.


  Actually, I'll start at last night.  Christmas Eve.  I worked early in the day, but the evening was spent with Mom and my brother, Ben.  I made my awesome potato, ham & cheese soup (one of the few things I take pride in), then we went to the church my brother usually attends while he's home for their service.  It was so wonderful focusing on Jesus and His love and sacrifice.  After that, we drove around and looked at Christmas lights.  This morning,  my mom and I got our first round of FREE sheetz coffee then went to my home church :)  I love my church!!!  The theme of Pastor's message was the names of Jesus, so cool!  After that, my mom and I just talked for a long time about our sweet Jesus who He is and how He loves us, talks to us, intercedes for us.  The list goes on and on.  Amazed.  When we got home, we made our brunch that consisted of rolls, bacon and pineapple, YUM!


  Since then, we've just been hanging out, I've been playing guitar, wrapping a couple presents and listening to music.  I think we're going to watch a Christmas movie then open up a couple gifts later.  I love this.  I feel like this is what Christmas should be, focusing primarily on Jesus and His sacrificial birth and death, then just enjoying family and getting to a few presents whenever we do.  I know it's simple, but I think that's why I love it so much.


  I just wanted to write this to express how thankful I am for this day, Mom and Ben, and most importantly, the gift of Jesus Christ.  Merry Christmas and much love, friends.

Luke 2:8-20 "And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.  But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”  Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.” So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.  The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told."

Christmas Break

     Hey again, friends!  This is crazy, two blog posts within days when all semester I've been lucky if I squeeze one out in a month, haha :) (by the way I kind of stole the idea for this blog from a good friend ;) )  I've been blessed with another phenomenal semester at Liberty and I'm so thankful to God for it.  I know that over Christmas break, it is easy to get into the "just chill" mode and slide into neutral for a month, but I really don't want that to be the case for this break or any other time in life for that matter.

     Ephesians 5:15-16 says, " Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."

     I want to learn how to live a life in which each second counts, each minute lived in devotion and submission to my Father.  I know that I'm so far from that, but I have faith that through His might, He will accomplish the good work He has started in my life. (Philippians 1:6)

     So, to get to the point of my blog, here is my list of goals for Christmas break.

1. Spend quality time drawing close to God, deepening my prayer life and really studying and memorizing the Word.

2.  Become awesome at guitar,  I know some of the basics, but definitely need quite a bit of practice.

                                                             

3.  READ!  Okay, nerd confession, on my first day back from school, I went to the library and checked out three books.  On my list to read is re-reading A Tale of Two Cities (Charles Dickens), Great Expectations (Charles Dickens) and Forgotten God (Francis Chan) and also reading  Letters from Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer (C.S. Lewis) for the first time.

4. Get accepted into Liberty's School of Education, I just completed my practicum now all I need to do is send in my finger prints and submit my application.  I can't wait to be a teacher :)

5. Spend lots of time with my big brother, Ben and my mom and also visit my extended family as much as possible.

6. Get together with my graduating class!  

7.  Spend time with friends.

8.  Get into awesome shape and eat healthier. I WORK OUT!

9.  Prepare for Prayer Groups for next semester, God did so many amazing things this semester, I can't wait to see what He has in store for next.  I seriously miss you all SO MUCH already. Love you girls!!

10.  Figure out what in the world God wants me to do this summer and Fall semester. :/

11.  Hopefully visit Sneeya and Jennah in New York City with Ariel :)

12.  Go to downtown Pittsburgh with my family while the Christmas lights are still up and hopefully visit Samanthajo!!

13.  Get in lots of hours at work and be a light for Christ in my workplace.

14.  Be involved in my home church over break.

15. Keep a weekly blog.

16.  SLEEP! (something college life lacks)

     Well, there it is, my goals for break.  I'm not sure if I'll get everything accomplished that I'd like to, but I think it's better to aim too high rather than too low.  Merry Christmas break friends :)

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years." ~ Abrahan Lincoln

I have one desire now - to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and 

strength into it. -Elisabeth Elliot

Getting Real

     Hey sweet friends :)  It's been a while since I've written a blog, but no time like the present, right?  You see, my problem with blogging isn't running out of ideas, rather stream lining what I want to write about and when I want to write it.  If you know me, you know that I can be a little spaced out and my mind is usually in more than one place at a time, haha.  For instance, right now I'm thinking about blog ideas.  Let me give you a glimpse into the brain of Sarah (scary thought, I know.)  


     Hmm I should write a blog.  What should I write about?  I have about half a dozen blogs started, maybe I should finish one of those? Boring.  This semester has been so great, especially the amazing women on my hall, specifically my prayer group, maybe I should write a blog devoted to them?  Nahhh I think they're too phenomenal, it would turn into a novel.  Hmm it's break now, most of my friends at school are going home.  Maybe I should write one to encourage them in the struggles and challenges they're facing at home.  School.  That reminds me, I'm going to be a teacher. This week I've been doing a practicum with some of the sweetest kids, I just can't wait to be a teacher, I could write about that.  Or, maybe I should pick a spiritual topic like giving as much grace as we receive.  I need to work on that.  Grace, that is my favorite attribute of God.  Maybe I should name one of my children Grace, or maybe not.  I feel like it might make me play favorites because I just love the essence of grace.  Naming children, what in the world am I thinking, I'm not even dating.  Should I be?  Is that a requirement for attending Liberty?  Speaking of requirements for Liberty, I really need to get my School of Education application in.  Wait, what was I doing anyways?  Oh yeah, blogging, what to blog about.


     That is a glimpse of how my brain works, frightening, isn't it?  You're probably wondering, why am I reading this?  Is she ever going to get to the dang blog?!?  Well, hold your horses, I'm about there :)  


     The more I live life, the more I realize that "hard" is not the exception, rather the rule.  Growing up, and even in my first year at Liberty, I felt like I was surrounded by "perfect" people.  Since I've gotten to really know people on a deeper level, I've come to the conclusion that although at times many people have "surface perfection" everyone is faced with their own kind of hard. As I was getting ready to leave Liberty, I started to think about what going home looks like.  For some, it is a place of rest, peace, sweet memories and love.  For others it is a place that is painful rather than peaceful.  There are many reasons why it might be difficult going home.  Maybe this is the first Christmas without a loved one, maybe you aren't going to come back to school next semester, maybe you have unsaved friends and family members, you might just feel worthless, maybe you're going home to a broken family or maybe you're going to be slammed with the memories and temptations from who you used to be.


     Personally, going home isn't always easy for me.  I'm blessed beyond belief to have my mom and brother, but there are certain aspects about being home that are extremely difficult, frustrating and at times painful.  Through the hard times in life, I've learned that you can either get bitter or get better.  It's your choice, plain and simple.  Does that mean it's going to be easy? Heck to the no.  Will God see you through, shape and mold you and use you to do great things in the midst of adversity?  I have absolutely no doubt.


     We serve a faithful God who abounds in unconditional love.  Although everything around us is subject to change, we are promised that "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." (Hebrews 13:8)  


     As you're going home, or have already arrived be encouraged.  These are some verses that have encouraged and uplifted me and I trust they'll do the same for you :)


1 John 5:3-5 "In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.  Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God."


Pslam 37:23-24 "The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand."


Psalm 34:17-20  The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Joel 2:13 Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.

Along with those verses, I just wanted to share a reminder of why we are here.  I know it's so easy to get caught up in the day to day and forget the only things that really matter. 1. Our personal relationship with Jesus Christ. 2. Who we are taking to Heaven with us.

Matthew 28:17-20 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said,“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

I challenge you this break, be bold.  Don't let fear hold you back, rather find out just what God can do with one life fully surrendered to Him.

The world has yet to see what God can do with and for and through and in and by the man who is fully and wholly consecrated to Him. I will try my utmost to be that man. -D.L. Moody 

Worship

            Oh man....looks like it's been a while since I've written a blog.  There has been so much going on and so many things I've been learning, I feel like I could write a book based solely on the last month of life.  There have been many ups and downs and valuable life lessons learned.  It seems like there is never a "normal" week in the life of Sarah. The theme of my life has continue to prove itself.  My weakness and His abundant grace, love and faithfulness. 


            There are so many different ideas for blogs going through my head write now. If I could have a week to do nothing but read and write, I would be a supremely happy woman. Needless to say, I don't.  As a matter of fact I probably don't have the time to be blogging right now, but I don't care :)  This isn't anything particularly profound, I'm just going to write about the thing that just hit me during quiet time today.  Also, I'm writing in a different, more casual style so I apologize if I'm a bit scattered, haha.


            Today I started to go through the book of Job.  Every time I read Job I get hit with conviction...BAM.  This time was no different.  You know when you read something and the words nearly jump out of the page at you?  Well, one of those moments just happened.  I was reading the first chapter of Job.  In summary, Satan is talking with God and God decides to brag on His man Job.  Job is a faithful servant of God who is blameless, upright and fears God.  God even goes as far to say that there is no one on the earth like Him.  Satan retaliates and makes the point that God has placed a hedge around Job and everything he has, I mean, what reason does Job have not to love God?  God then gives Satan access to everything Job has, but not Job himself.  Satan then proceeds to leave the presence of the Lord and reek havoc on Job's life.  Job receives news that his oxen, sheep, servants, camels, and all of his children were gone.  Gone. In a short period of time, Job lost pretty much everything.  


           Job's response was very different from what mine probably would have been.   In verses 20-21 of chapter one, Job says "At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.”


          These words jumped out of the page at me.  His reaction toward God was worship.  This just made me think, what is worship?  


          The Lord is beautiful.  He is worthy of our praise at all times. He is Justice.  He is love.  He is always faithful.  He never changes (Hebrews 13:8.)  He is worthy of utmost adoration, reverence and honor.


          In this passage, Job isn't experiencing a giddy, emotionally high, "I'm in love with Jesus, la la la" moment.  He is experiencing pain, loss and sorrow.  Everything precious has been torn away from him.  I think that is what makes his act of worship so beautiful is that it is coming out of brokenness.  Job's faith leads him to see the sovereign God's hand at work which gives him repose even in the face of such calamity. In the midst of sheer pain and uncertainty, He falls on His face in worship and praises the name of the Lord.  Now, that is worship, that is beautiful. 


         This specifically challenged me because to be honest, lately some things in my life have just been really, really hard.  Even though I've been experiencing "hard", it is nothing in comparison to losing everything.  Every time we face hard in life we're faced with the choice becoming bitter and resentful toward God, or acknowledging His sovereignty and giving Him the worship and praise He is due. 


         Welp, I guess that about sums it up.  I'm going to finish off with some lyrics this passage reminded me of.  Thank you so much for taking the time to read. Peace.  

"And I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm"

                   

Clarity

  Here we go again.  I'm staring at the clock and reading the time at 1:34 AM knowing that I have a 7:40 tomorrow morning.  Tonight was just one of those nights where I couldn't really sleep again.  Just a lot going on in my head and heart.

  For the past month or so, I haven't really been feeling like myself.  Can't really put my finger on it, but I just haven't felt 100% there.  I guess there are quite a few possible reasons, but I can't quite peg what it's been or if it's just a combination of a lot of different things.  Between classes, work, friendships, confusion, responsibilities, and stuff going on at home I've felt little lost.

  That being said, this fall break has been a glorious thing.  There is nothing like taking a step back from the crazyness of life and remembering what it's all really about.

  This morning, a couple of friends and I got up early to go to hiking at Peaks of Otter.  If you're a Liberty student or live near here, let me just say, it is a trip well worth making.  When we'd finished hiking to the top of the mountain, the view was absolutely breath taking.

Me at the top

  I'm kind of an "outdoorsy" kind of girl, so this was absolutely ideal.  Just looking out over the mountains, knowing that my God, my Father, my Savior, created what my eyes were beholding absolutely took my breath away.  The same God who created this majestic view that overwhelmed me so, also knows the number of hairs on my head, holds the tears I've cried and has a plan for me.  How awesome is that?  The same God who created the oceans, knows the number of the grains of sand, created the universe knows my name and has pursued me with a passionate love to win my heart.  I truly can't comprehend it, but I'm so incredibly thankful and overwhelmed by it.

  Sometimes I just need reminded of what I've already known.  Living in the reality of that love is what makes all of the difference.  Walking in the knowledge that I am loved completely and wholy, just as I am by my Almighty Creator and Father makes all of the difference.  When I'm walking in His love, it's not about me.  When I'm walking in His love, it's not about wheter I'm liked or disliked by others, or anything else partaining to me.  When I'm walking as a young woman made whole by the redeeming love of Jesus Christ, that changes everything.

  I begin to remember what really matters and why I'm here anyway.  The only things that are going to last from this world is my personal relationship with Christ and who I'm taking to Heaven with me.  All else is vapor.  Other than my personal love relationship with Him and who I'm sharing His love with, evertything else really is meaningless.  I don't want to live the kind of life where I look back and see time wasted on shallow friendships, selfish indulgence, or meaningless activity.  I want to look back and see a life that counted.  A life that radiates His love to all those I come in contact with.  A life that has no time for trifling.

James 4:14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

"What is the secret to great living? Entire separation to Christ and devotion to Him. Thus speaks every man and woman whose life has made more than a passing flicker in the spiritual realm. It is the life that has no time for trifling that counts.”~Amy Carmichael

  As I'm challenging myself, I challenge whoever might be reading this, examine your life.  When it comes down to it, what really matters?  What is going to last and what is going to burn?  Are your pursuits, pastimes and passions pushing you tward or away from Christ.?

  I'm pretty sure that I'm writing this to myself more than anybody reading it.  Its just so good to feel Him, His passion, His power again. To be reminded of the reason for my beating heart.  To feel clarity.  Now, Lord Jesus, Help me do it.

Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

 

Truth

    

     I feel like this is a bad decision.  I'm looking at my clock, knowing that it's 12:37 and I have an essay to finish, a paper to write, quiz to take & online assignment to finish over the weekend and church tomorrow morning, but I just really feel the urge to write, so I'm going to ignore my better judgement and just do it.

      To be really honest, the last couple of weeks have been kind of rough in my walk with God.  You know those times when you're seeking His face, His will, and His presence and yet you feel so far from it?  Yeah. That has been the last couple of weeks for me.  It's seemed like no matter how hard I've tried I just haven't felt like I've measured up in any aspect of life. I just don't understand what He's doing or what He wants me to do.  When I'm going through times like this, it feels so easy to fall back into old thought patterns, listen to old lies and forget who He is and who I am in Him.

      I can't say it in any other words than I need Him.  I need Him desprately. My heart longs for Him. Even though I know He's still here, still with me, it's so hard not feeling Him, not hearing His voice as clearly as I'm used to.  I crave His presence. 

     Today I was talking to my mom and expressing to her all that's been going on and some of the things I've been facing.  She told me what I really needed to hear.  She reminded me of the truth.  The truth is something that I can hold on to, something I need to hold on to even when I don't feel Him. 

     If you're reading this and know me at all, you'll know I'm kind of a goofy, quirky person and I do quirky goofy things quite frequently.   Last year I started doing something kind of quirky but really effective in my walk with God.  I started making what I call "truth cards."  When I was going through a really tough season last year and battling the Enemy's lies, I would make little index cards with the lie I was facing on one side and a verse to fight it on the other side.  I know it sounds lame, but it made all the difference in my walk with Him.

    God never changes, His Word and it's power never changes.  Feelings come and go, emotions come and go, people come and go.  He remains.  He never leaves. He is faithful.  He never fails.  He never changes. 

Hebrews 13:8  "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."

Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Psalm 37: 23-24 The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him though he may  stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

      He loves us.  As hard as it is to understand, no matter how many times I fail Him, no matter how many times I fall short, His love will never end, His love will never fail.  

Jeremiah 31:3 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness."

     I am His daughter.  I'm a child of the King.  Because I am His, I am precious in His sight.  My value doesn't come from my accomplishments, my status, my grades, or my friends.  It comes from the knowledge that I am loved and accepted completely and wholy by my beautiful Heavenly Father.

Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”

John 1:12-14 "Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God."



    
     I'm getting pretty sleepy so hopefully this blog makes sense.  It's pretty different from most of my writing, but I just felt like I was supposed to write it.  Maybe I'm just talking to myself, but maybe someone reading this needs reminded too.  I want to challenge you to remind yourself of His truth daily, because even when we don't understand what He's doing and don't really feel Him, He never changes, He never fails, He will NEVER leave.

Beautiful grace, we are weak, but He is strong.

  Sometimes I can't decide which I fancy more, reading or writing.  As of late, I seem to be finding very little time to do either.  So, I'm sitting here with a mouth full of brussel sprouts, determined to start and finish a blog within the next hour as I'm eating dinner.

    There is so much going on in my mind and heart.  So many lessons I've been learning, questions I've been asking and ways I've been growing.  It seems like God has been stretching, pressing and molding me more than ever.  The process of being made into something beautiful is a far cry from the word "comfortable."  I'm telling you, if you want to be challenged, cry out to God, asking Him, "Whatever it takes, Father, make me like Jesus."  He will be faithful to hear and answer your heart's cry. 

  Since I've started school, it's been a little crazy.  Between taking seven classes, working, and ministry, I've begun to feel a bit like butter spread over too much toast.  My mind has also been preoccupied with situations at home, not to mention, the past few days just haven't been the best since my asthma decided it was to time to kick me in the butt again, haha :P   Now, don't get me wrong, the past couple of weeks have also been some of the most rewarding, encouraging, life-changing times I've experienced.  I've witnessed God's hand stir hardened hearts, seen miracles, experienced His overwhelming love and grace,  had the opportunity of being a vessel for His use, and formed beautiful lifetime friendships.

  All of that being said, the past week or so I've been battling with feeling a bit defeated, powerless, not smart enough, and just plain out not good enough for anything or anybody.  These are areas I've struggled in in the past and for the past week, they've seemed to arise again. 

  On Sunday morning, I intentionally skipped church to go to the prayer chapel.  If you attend Liberty University and have not made a visit to the prayer chapel, I highly encourage you to do so.  It is hands down one of my favorite places on campus.  I decided to walk around back to Jerry's memorial and just sat there basking in the morning sunlight and spent time with my Father.  It was such a precious, sweet time with Him.  As  I was sitting there spending time with Him, I was convicted of the root of these feelings of defeat, being powerless, and not good enough.  The root of them was me.  I'd begun to shift my focus on me.  My faults, my words, my actions, my feelings.  By selfishly focusing my thoughts and focus on myself, I'd begun to take my eyes from Jesus beautiful face and shifted them to my faults.  Instead of reveling in His overwhelming grace, beauty, love, power, and presence, I was distracted by myself, my faults. 

  My favorite verses in the Bible come from 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, where Paul says,

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

  Every time I read these verses, my heart is moved.  I'm completely aware of my weakness. I know I'm unfaithful, sinful, very faulted, I make mistakes, I say the wrong things, and am altogether worthless on my own.  What I also know is that I have been given abundant, overwhelming grace.  My heart has been enticed and captured by the One who knows each of my faults, yet loves me with an unrelenting love.  As I look into His beautiful face, I'm reminded that He has chosen me, loved me, forgiven me, given me a new name and made me whole.  My life is not my own.  It bears the name of the One who knows the number of hairs on my head (Luke 12:6-7) and drew me to Himself with loving kindness (Titus 3:4-7).  My life is no longer about me, my faults or shortcomings.  I was freed from myself and bought with a price.

1 Corinthians 7:22-23 For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave.  You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings.

  He has called me His own.  My heart is branded with His seal.  Beautiful grace, I'm so overwhelmed, so undeserving.  How can I focus on my own faults when I have my precious, beautiful Savior to live for?  Praise Your sweet name, Jesus.



Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Thought I'd also share my new favorite song that seems to fit along pretty well with this blog :)

 "For You I sing and dance, rejoice in this divine romance, lift my heart and lift my hands to show my love, to show my love."





Be still

Psalms 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations,I will be exalted in the earth!"

  A lot of the time, I feel like I'm the one who needs to hear what I write the most.  Writing is such a great way to express thoughts, feelings, and lessons that I've learned or am in the process of learning.

  Something that I'm learning to let go of is what my mom calls "hyper-responsibility."  Prettymuch,  a lot of the time I feel like I have to be perfect and when I'm not perfect or make a little mistake, I feel like I'll ruin my whole life.

  Sometimes, this leads to me running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to do every little thing, trying to make every possible right choice, providing for myself, trying to make everybody happy......in my own power.  It is all done with good intentions, but in trying to do so many things "perfectly",  I'm taking away from allowing God to take care of me in every sense.

   Many times, I forget that God really can provide all my needs (Phil. 4:19).  He is very capable to give me everything that I have need of whether that be spiritually, emotionally, friendships, or physical needs.  I don't need to worry about any of these things. 

  1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,  casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

  That is a command, to cast all of my anxieties and cares on Him.  Being self-reliant and overly responsible is in no way godly.  God tells us to come and find rest and peace in Him.  To sit at His feet as Mary did and listen to Him.  Enjoy His presence and savor every glorious minute spent dwelling in His presence.  Walking in the supernatural power and provision of the Holy Spirit.  Having confidence that God is watching me, taking care of me, that He loves me SO MUCH that nothing that I could do or not do could separate me from Him.

 Matthew 11:28-30  Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

  God is patiently teaching me my least two favorite words "be still."  He is teaching me more and more that I can do nothing, I can be nothing on my own.  Its only through the enabling of the Holy Spirit that there is any good in me.

John 3:30 He must increase, but I must decrease.

  My heart's cry is that He may become everything, and myself nothing.  That I may learn to dwell in perfect peace, having faith that my God, the Creator of the universe who loves me completely, perfectly, unconditionally wants me to find perfect rest in Him, to be still and let Him reign.  I want to have a faith and assurance in Him that shakes my world.  I just want all of Him....I need all  of Him...




.....Jesus Help.

                                 

Whatever it Takes. Part 3

   It's been a few weeks since I've posted a blog, so I figured it was about time I did.  The past few weeks have been challenging, but many lessons learned as always.

   I'd have to say, my favorite pastime is probably reading.  Lame, nerdy? Yes, but I'm okay with that :]  Two of my favorite authors are Eric and Leslie Ludy.  I find their passion for serving Christ whole-heartedly, on-fire, without compromise completely inspiring.  The current book that I'm reading is Set Apart Femeninity by Leslie Ludy.  Its all about being set apart for our Prince and King, Jesus Christ.  As I've been reading this book, two questions have been going through my mind as I go through my daily life.

"Is what I'm doing honoring Christ and drawing me closer to Him"

 and

"Is what I'm doing drawing others to Him?"

   I've only been on this earth 19 years so far, but during those 19 years, I've learned more and more each day that this life really is all about Jesus.  I've learned I can't do it on my own because I wasn't created to "do life" alone.  Anything that I do in my own intrests, in my own power turns out to be empty, worthless, lacking true satisfaction.

  I want to become less and less of me.  I want to learn to become completely selfless.  My heart's cry it to truly love Jesus with ALL my heart, ALL my soul, ALL my mind and ALL my strength.  I don't want my life to look like a moral twist on the average American life, rather I want it to look like daily surrender to true Life.  I'm so excited.

  I want my life to be completely unexplainable by me.  My desire is to really live a life that can be explained only through the power of the Holy Spirit within me.

 "The Christian life can be explained only in terms of Jesus Christ, and if your life as Christian can still be explained in terms of you---your personality, your willpower, your gift, your talent, your money, your courage, your scholarship, your dedication, your sacrifice, or your anything--then although you man have the Christian life, you are not yet living it." - Ian Thomas

  It is my firm belief that true satisfaction, real joy, is found only through losing complete sight of me.  When I focus on my pain, my problems, my life,  I find myself feeling hopleless, helpless, and worthless.  Any joy or beauty that I possess is found by losing sight of myself completely.  It comes from being so consumed by my Prince and King that my life can somehow reflect His, because He is truly the only source of joy and beauty. 

"It is a tremendous freedom to get rid of all self-consideration and learn to care about only one thing---the relationship between Christ and ourselves." -Oswald Chambers

  My prayer lately has been that God remove anything in my life that is hindering me from a deeper, closer relationship with Him so that I can full force run the race,  life the life, and fulfill the purposes that He designed and created me to.  Not wasting any of the precious life that He has given to me, rather pouring it out as an offering of service, gratitude and love for my King.

Hebrews 12:1-3 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

   I challenge you to die.  I challenge you to find out what being truly alive feels like, to experience the complete joy found in the set apart life and live for the purpose you were created for.  You only have one life to live on this earth. Thank you so much for taking the time to read. :)

Loose Tooth

    Most of what I write/think/experience/feel isn't shared on my blog.  Its usually only when I feel like I'm supposed to write something or think that it would be beneficial and helpful to whoever might read it.  What I'm sharing in this blog is the core of my heart.  Its very close and dear to me, but I feel like I'm supposed to share it, so I'm going to.

    I'm having one of those moments where I have a feeling and just can't really put into words.  The best way I can think of to describe it is when you have a loose tooth.  You just want to get it out and reach it and it feels really weird and you just HAVE to do something about it.

   This summer has been one of the biggest challenges of my life.  I believe with my whole heart that it has been a season of deep preparation, like I said in a previous post, a "wax on, wax off" season.  God has been testing, trying, and molding me.  It has been hard to go through and hard to see why God has me here, but here and there I've caught glimpses of the work He is doing inside of my heart and the woman He is molding me into.

"If Jesus gives us a task or assigns us to a difficult season, every ounce of our experience is meant for our instruction and completion if only we'll let Him finish the work. I fear, however, that we are so attention-deficit that we settle for bearable when beauty is just around the corner."
— Beth Moore

   The past while, I've been overwhelmed with a desire for more of Him.  For more righteousness, for more in life, to make every single minute I live be one to make an impact for eternity.  I want to walk with Jesus Christ and to lay EVERY distraction, sin and hinderance aside.  I want Him to be all I see.  I want Him to be all that others see in me.  I want to leave every interaction, every conversation with the other person being more drawn to Jesus and thinking about Him, not me.  Thinking about the beautiful Name above every Name.  I just want to be a pointer to the One who forever has my heart and my everything.  I just want to be so consumed by and with Him that everything else is pale in comparison.  I just want His best for my life in every area.  I don't want to and refuse to settle for a mediocre, easy life.  I want to choose, I will choose to die every day in order to be alive in Christ.  I want to and will crucify my flesh, my desires, my "old man" so that I can see Chrsit alive in me.  I want to see what a life fully surrendered to Christ looks like.

"The world has yet to see what God can do with and for and through and in and by the man who is fully and wholly consecrated to Him. I will try my utmost to be that man." -D.L. Moody

  Sometimes, I just get so darn mad at myself.  I get mad for doubting God, for choosing against Him.  I feel like it is a constant battle and "killing" of my old man.  I just want sooooo badly to be living that wholly set apart for my King. 

  I'm learning that choosing to die to self is a daily decision, a daily battle.  It is daily getting on my knees and rending my heart before the Almighty.

Joel 2:12-13 “Even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.”  Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.

Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Jeremiah 29:12-14a Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD.

  We are promised that when we seek Him, when we hunger for Him, we will be filled and He will be found.  I don't want to settle for less.  I don't want to just nod my head and agree with everything I hear.  I'm hungry for more of Him, I yearn for Him.  I want to seek things out for myself, not just go along.  I want to meditate in His Word and hear Him speak.  I don't want to settle for a normal, average, comfortable life when I know there is more.  I want everything that He has in store.  I want His best, His plan.  I want to fulfill whatever purposes He created me for.  I just want all of Him.

   If you are reading this, I want to encourage you, don't give up.  Never stop, even when things get hard.  He is enough, He is always enough. Keep seeking His face, He never fails or disappoints.

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 37:4 "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

  Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

We are Ambassadors.

   I'm writing this with a heavy heart.  My heart isn't heavy because of something that has happened to me or a friend.  It isn't heavy because of an outward circumstance really, its just reality.  My heart is heavy becuase I'm feeling the burden of lost, broken souls.

    This summer, I've been surrounded almost always by people who don't share my faith and belief in Jesus Christ.  Other than my mom and brother and church on Sunday, all of my time is spent with people who haven't seen the glorious light of Jesus Christ.  They haven't experienced His healing, they haven't felt His power or His joy.  They have no hope or eternal security.  They have experienced the pleasure of this world, but not the pleasure of a relationship with the Creator of this world.  It really has me thinking, searching, yearning for more of Him.

  Today when I got off of work, I just had kind of a bad attitude.  I was really missing Liberty and my friends from there, missing being around other believers, missing feeling God's presence in a group setting, missing worship.  I was focusing inward, being selfish.  I was thinking about everything that I missed and longed for rather than the mission field God has placed me in.

   As I started to fall asleep tonight, a rush of sorrow filled my heart.  I started crying.  Reality struck.  Most of the people I interact with on a daily basis are on their way to Hell.  If I really believe in the Bible, which I do, the only way one can come into the Kingdom of God is through Jesus Christ and Him alone.

   I wholeheartedly believe that the "real world" is one of the hardest mission fields.  Working in a secular workplace, having unsaved extended family, interacting with unsaved neighbors, it it a mission field.  This mission field isn't usually advertised at churches, it isn't usually one that recieves special attention, or a title.  We are the day in day out ambassadors of Jesus Christ in places where His beautiful Name is used more frequently as a curse than the Name above all Names. All who are believers in Jesus Christ are called to be bold witnesses and not only represent our King by our actions, but by our words and spirit.  We are called to be a light in dark places, to shamelessly defend our King and proclaim His truth to those who may have never heard.

   What do we have?  What makes us different?  What makes us more than a smiling face or kind word.  What makes us different than them?  Is there something that we have that they don't?  Are we more than morals and rules? How can they tell if we are different?  How can they see the light of Jesus Christ rather than just another happy face?

  I'm asking myself these questions.  Can my coworkers, friends, family and neighbors see anything different in me?  Do they see more than a bubbly personality and friendly smile?  Do they see the power of a supernatural force evidenced in the way I live?  ...I don't know...I sure hope so.

Matthew 5:43-48 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

  I want this.  I want to be light in dark places.  I want to be perfect and love like my Father, to love my enemy and pray for those who tease, gossip about and mistreat me because of my faith.I want to be a Holy Spirit filled, walking powerhouse.  I want my actions, words, and entire being to be consumed with a passion to share my Savior, my King with a dying world.  I want to live every day with the knowledge that it could be my last.  How did I spend today, did I make an eternal impact through complete surrender to my Savior and His Holy Spirit?

   I don't want a lukewarm faith. I want a passionate, on fire, blazing,world changing faith.  Whether I'm overseas, or here in DuBois, I want to be faithful to represent my King.  I feel called to full-time ministry in the future, but I want to be faithful now, even as a grocery store missionary.  I want to surrender my pride and worrying about what others think of me to be a bold witness for my King, laying every hinderance aside.

Romans 12:1-2 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

  I'm writing this to challenge and encourage my fellow believers to be bold ambassadors for our King.  Represent Him shamelessly.  Be in His Word, seeking His face, His power, His Holy Spirit every morning.  We can do nothing, and I mean nothing, in our own power.  Our true rest, power, and strength comes from His presence alone. We can not be ambassadors for a King we don't really know or spend time with.  Being an ambassador for Jesus Christ is way more than posting a Bible verse on facebook, its allowing Him to use our bodies, mouths, actions, everything and everywhere we go to represent Him.

  I'm also writing this to ask for prayer.  I've been growing kind of discouraged and really lacking
close Christian friends at home. I'm in need of a support system of believing, like-minded friends
here.  I have so many close Christ seeking friends at school, but when I come home, sometimes I sort of feel alone.  My heart longs for a few friends here to really "run the race" with.

  Thank you to everyone who reads my blog, it really means so much.  Also, feel free to offer any feedback :)

Whatever it takes 2.

  So, in the begining of the summer, in one of my blogs titled "Whatever it Takes", I talked about a specific prayer that I prayed to start the summer off with.  That prayer was "Whatever is takes, make me like Jesus."  Little did I know what the ramifications of that seemingly small, seven-word prayer would be.

  Telling God, telling Jesus, to shape you and mold you into the vessel that He wants to be is always a dangerous prayer.  This prayer give God permission to do whatever He wants and molding and shaping an individual isn't a pretty process.  Before gold is refined, it just isn't that pretty and it needs to go through fire/the furnace to be purified and draw all of the impurities to the surface.  The finished product is a beautiful thing, but the process of getting there is a narrow, hard path.

  I've mentioned in previous blog posts that this summer has not been easy.  It hasn't been.  God has tested my faith, my patience, and my trust in Him and His plan.  I feel like in my heart, with each thing that has happened, I can hear God saying, "Will you still follow me, Sarah?  Will you still do whatever it takes to be like Jesus?  Are you truly willing to be my disciple and trust me?"  And, although sometimes begrudgingly, I have said "Yes, Jesus, I'm not turning back."

  This summer has been beautiful.  I have seen God work in my life and the lives of others and use my life to impact those around me.  I have witnessed Him continually draw out impurities in my life and sow seeds of faith and trust in Him, which is something that has been really hard for me in the past.  I have seen my Hero rise to the occasion and rescue me.  He has never dissapointed me or abandoned me.  Even when on the surface, it has seemed like my world was falling apart, He was really holding it together.  He sees the unseen and His plans and ways are ALWAYS higher.

Isaiah 55:9 says "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." 

1 Corinthians 1:25 "For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength."

  We can always trust in Him and His plan, always.  He is our Savior, Father, Redeemer and Friend. 

1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Psalms 27:33-34  The Lord directs the steps of the godly.  He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.

   I really have the ladies from the leadership team on 5-1 on my heart as I am writing this.  Guys, this is hard, it is so unexpected, shocking, and painful, but we don't always have to know why, we just need to say, "Yes, Jesus, I trust in You."  There are so many things in life that we don't "get".  Sometimes I think about Heaven, and I think it would be so cool if when we get there we play a video and see all that God was doing behind the scenes of the things we will never understand on earth.  I know His plans are best and He wouldn't have let this happen if it wasn't His will.  It is still so hard, but we just have to trust in His perfect love for us.

  This is a simple song that I learned as a little girl.  It has been on my heart, so I will close with the first verse of it.

I have decided to follow Jesus.
I have decided to follow Jesus.
I have decided to follow Jesus,
no turning back, no turning back.

Thank You Abba.

  Fathers day. Eh.

    This morning, wasn't too fun.  I went to church as usual.  The church that I attend is beautiful.  Seeing the generations of love, faith, and commitment to Jesus Christ, well, it is just a beautiful thing.  The admiration and respect I have for the leadership and members of First Baptist is immense.  There are so many families that you can witness generation after generation of service to Jesus Christ, actually I think that about 95% of our church is related haha. It is actually what attracted me to attend First Baptist and I have never regretted going there, I truly love it.  That is what I want for my future. I want to be the change. I want the family I have to be one that serves Jesus Christ wholeheartedly.  I want my children and grandchildren to be faithful to serving and loving Jesus.

     That being said, being a young single person attending church alone isn't always easy.  All of my life, I went to church with my mom at a different church.  It is a church with wonderful people, but there were some things I didn't agree with doctrinally, and I felt called to attend First Baptist. My senior year I started attending there.

   All of that is a preface to this morning.  It was a normal Sunday morning.  I walked in the sanctuary, fashionably late of course, and found a seat.  Like I said, my church is HUGE on family stuff, which I think is really awesome.  This morning was fathers day.  This summer has been really hard.  I'm not going into detail, but, my dad isn't really part of my life and hasn't been for a long time.  Seeing all of the dads stand up, all the dads get their little books for father's day, seeing kids hug their dads, seeing facebook posts about people's wonderful dads.  Well, its hard and I've been jealous.  There, I said it, I've been jealous, really jealous.

  I feel like all huge things in my life, I can relate to an epic run.  Weird, I know, but running is a way for me to get everything out.  Its just me, God, and my running shoes hitting the pavement.  Tonight was one of those epic runs.  God really convicted me of my selfishness.  He convicted me of focusing on things that have been taken away rather than all of the blessings that He has lavished on me.  I've been focusing on losing my hall/leadership family for next year, the hard things I'm facing rather than all of the incredible ways He has blessed me. I am His daughter, He is my Daddy, Abba.  Tonight as I was debriefing on what I felt God spoke to me during that run I came accross this passage of scripture that I found so comforting and uplifting.

Galatians 4:4-7 "But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir."

  He chose to adopt me.  He chose to be my Dad.  He chose to take on the challenge of raising sinful, awful, rebelious me.  He knows everything I've done, He knows every thought that has passed through my mind.  He sees all and knows all and He chose to be my Abba.  He sent His only, perfect Son to die a horrible death and carry the weight of sin so He could adopt me. He chose to be my Daddy.  He chose to make me an heir.  He didn't just save me from my chains of sins and an eternity of suffering in Hell, He chose to give me an inheritance, to treat me as His very own. 

  I have so much to be thankful for SO MUCH.  I really can't get over it. I'm tearing up out of joy right now.  I could write a hundred page blog about all of the things I am thankful for, but I don't think many people would read it haha :)  For this blog I just wanted to end it with a specific thankyou to two of my favorite people and the best family I could ask for.

    Benjamin Allen Doughty, you are the MAN!  I love you so much, as my roomate, Rachel would say, bastante.  You have overcome the odds, you have fought through hard battles, you have chosen to follow Jesus.  Words can't describe how proud I am of you.  How proud I am to call Ben Doughty my brother.  You are amazing, you exemplify the characteristics of Jesus Christ in the way that you treat me.  You are probably the hardest working man that I know, yet you also genuinely care about people.  You can rip and tear in yardwork, but you still are an awesome cook :)  Thank you for being my big brother.  I love you so much.  Whoever gets to marry you is going to be an incredibly blessed woman, but she will have to get through me first ;)

  I'm saving the best for last.  My mom.  I don't think I could ever tell her enough how much she means to me or how proud I am of her.  She is an amazing woman.  Her prayers have gotten me through so many hard times.  I don't tell her nearly enough how much I love her or how thankful I am for her.  She derserves the biggest "Happy Fathers Day" because she's done both. She's worked hard to help my brother and I go to school and provide for us.  She is one of the most beautiful people I know. She's put up with my shenanigans and seen me through the best and worst times.  She's my mom, but also one of my dearest friends.  She follows Jesus, even when life is really hard.  I admire and love my mom so much.

  I am so blessed for God to have placed me in this family.  Everything He does is in His plan.  He is amazing, perfect, loving.  Glory be to His name.  I love you Abba and thank you.