I feel like this is a bad decision. I'm looking at my clock, knowing that it's 12:37 and I have an essay to finish, a paper to write, quiz to take & online assignment to finish over the weekend and church tomorrow morning, but I just really feel the urge to write, so I'm going to ignore my better judgement and just do it.
To be really honest, the last couple of weeks have been kind of rough in my walk with God. You know those times when you're seeking His face, His will, and His presence and yet you feel so far from it? Yeah. That has been the last couple of weeks for me. It's seemed like no matter how hard I've tried I just haven't felt like I've measured up in any aspect of life. I just don't understand what He's doing or what He wants me to do. When I'm going through times like this, it feels so easy to fall back into old thought patterns, listen to old lies and forget who He is and who I am in Him.
I can't say it in any other words than I need Him. I need Him desprately. My heart longs for Him. Even though I know He's still here, still with me, it's so hard not feeling Him, not hearing His voice as clearly as I'm used to. I crave His presence.
Today I was talking to my mom and expressing to her all that's been going on and some of the things I've been facing. She told me what I really needed to hear. She reminded me of the truth. The truth is something that I can hold on to, something I need to hold on to even when I don't feel Him.
If you're reading this and know me at all, you'll know I'm kind of a goofy, quirky person and I do quirky goofy things quite frequently. Last year I started doing something kind of quirky but really effective in my walk with God. I started making what I call "truth cards." When I was going through a really tough season last year and battling the Enemy's lies, I would make little index cards with the lie I was facing on one side and a verse to fight it on the other side. I know it sounds lame, but it made all the difference in my walk with Him.
God never changes, His Word and it's power never changes. Feelings come and go, emotions come and go, people come and go. He remains. He never leaves. He is faithful. He never fails. He never changes.
Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."
Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
Psalm 37: 23-24 The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.
He loves us. As hard as it is to understand, no matter how many times I fail Him, no matter how many times I fall short, His love will never end, His love will never fail.
Jeremiah 31:3 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness."
I am His daughter. I'm a child of the King. Because I am His, I am precious in His sight. My value doesn't come from my accomplishments, my status, my grades, or my friends. It comes from the knowledge that I am loved and accepted completely and wholy by my beautiful Heavenly Father.
Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”
John 1:12-14 "Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God."
I'm getting pretty sleepy so hopefully this blog makes sense. It's pretty different from most of my writing, but I just felt like I was supposed to write it. Maybe I'm just talking to myself, but maybe someone reading this needs reminded too. I want to challenge you to remind yourself of His truth daily, because even when we don't understand what He's doing and don't really feel Him, He never changes, He never fails, He will NEVER leave.