Joy

Joy...its a word that describes everything that I am feeling right now.  Joy :)

     In my last blog post, "We Press On", I was talking about the last week of my life, still one of the hardest I've faced, but right now I am so joyful, so thankful, so blessed.  I don't know if I've ever felt this alive or filled with love.  This week I hit rock bottom.  I didn't feel like I had anything left. 

     I never had really felt the fullness of the power of prayer or the presence of God like I have in the past few days.  Its crazy, I wasn't at a special event, or at church, or with fellow believers.  I was just broken and weak, alone with Jesus and I felt Him like I had never felt Him before.  Last night I just wanted to go outside and scream that Jesus really is enough.  I just want everybody to have what only He can give, real hope, life, love.

     2 Corinthians 12:9-10 "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

     These verses have always been some of my favorites, but I never really understood them completely until now.  I've never felt the power of God in my life like this because I've never been as weak or broken as I have been that past week.  I will DELIGHT in my weakness, the trials and pain that have faced me.  I will delight, because through facing things that I truly can not face on my own, I am given the opportunity to showcase Christ's strength and power.  I am given the opportunity to know Him in ways I've never known Him before.

     I really feel like I can't convey what I am feeling and experiencing though a blog.  I don't think I can explain it through words at all.  All I know is that I'm incredibly BLESSED to go through trials.  I am blessed when I feel weak and broken.  I am blessed because my Savior is strong, His grace is sufficient for me. 

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand