Sorrow is an emotion that is often avoided at all costs. People, myself included, use all sorts of means to escape from pain and sorrow. A busy schedule, distractions, comparisons, excuses. Especially within the context of the American church, I've noticed that many times sorrow, the gravity and weight of sin, and the insufferable pain we have inflicted on God, others, and ourselves is simply brushed under the carpet.
In 2 Corinthians 7, Paul is talking about a letter that he wrote to the Corinthians that produced godly grief which led to repentance. In verses 9-11, in response to the letter he sent, Paul says "As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter."
When godly sorrow and grief is neglected, is it possible that true, authentic repentance is also neglected? Grief that comes from God is characterized by repentance. When sin that defies God (i.e. all sin) is discarded as "normal," "not that bad," or "justified," is it possible that our minds and hearts become desensitized to the weight of sin, the necessity of repentance, and that we are missing out on the incredible qualities that godly sorrow produces?
It is only when we acknowledge our own complete depravity, detestable sin nature, and see the depths of our own despair that we can fully understand the cross and its beauty. In James 1:14, after making clear that God does not tempt us, James draws attention to the source of temptation. "But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death." It's our own desires that lead to our death. It's filth within us, not the things around us, that makes us the scum that we are by nature. When we are able to acknowledge that, we are able to see all the more clearly the beauty of Jesus Christ. We are able to see beauty of repentance, redemption, the depths of God's love, and the restoration that the truth of the Gospel brings. When we see just how unmerited the favor we've received from God is, we can praise Him all the more of loving us while we were enslaved in sin. We are able to filled with inexpressible, unexplainable love for God and his people. We are able to thrive and live the lives that God designed us to live.
I want to leave this blog with one of my favorite passages and I think that it ties in perfectly with this theme. Hebrews 12:1-2 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Let us keep looking unto our beautiful Savior and live a life that is worthy of the call we have received.
Thank you so much for reading and feel free to comment your opinions and thoughts. (:
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Thoughts
Thoughts. Racing, lingering, stirring, awakening. Thoughts carry the potential to provoke one to obtain a deeper understanding of matters, can introduce sin, disaccord and confusion, and if guided correctly will drive one to take action based on convictions. Thinking holds the potential to cultivate tremendous growth and change, but if thoughts merely remain entangled in the recesses of one's mind rather than being acted upon, they are all together worthless. The same can be said for beliefs, knowledge, convictions and desires. To believe, know, and desire something and to live out a life derived from those core values are two contrasting realities. That being said, my heart and mind have been overflowing as of late.
My heart's most desperate longing is to walk life hand in hand with Jesus Christ and truly know and love God with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength and love each person I come into contact with the same love He has shown me. To daily die to myself and have lungs filled with the breath of His life. To live a life free of sin, legalism, selfishness, opinions of others, titles, and pride. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15 says,
"For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised."
Is Christ's love truly controlling my every thought, word, action? Am I living for myself or am I living a life that is under complete, radical submission to the love and will of Jesus Christ? Although that is my heart's cry, so many times I've fallen tragically short of this calling. I somehow lose sight of why I'm still here on planet earth. I become distracted, ensnared, unfocused and before I realize it, I somehow lose focus on the only true meaning of life. I so oft forget that nothing on this earth matters except my personal relationship with Christ and precious human souls. These things are eternal; all else will burn. When reminded of that, life becomes drastically more simple. Life is so incredibly short. Ephesians 5:15-17 says,
"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. "
This knowledge and awareness, these desires, they are good and right. Although thoughts and desires are good, they are of no significance if fruit is not born as a result. My challenge to myself as well as those reading this blog is to examine your life, but don't stop at that. Are your pastimes, habits, relationships, conversations and attitudes pushing you closer or further from Christ? Are you willing to sacrifice idols that have stepped between you and Him? Remember the shortness of your days. Allow Christ's love to daily control your actions, thoughts, mindset, words. Life is too short to be controlled by anything other than the redemptive, unconditional, radical, passionate love of Jesus Christ. May our lives be more than a flicker.
"What is the secret to great living? Entire separation to Christ and devotion to Him. Thus speaks every man and woman whose life has made more than a passing flicker in the spiritual realm. It is the life that has no time for trifling that counts.”~Amy Carmichael
My heart's most desperate longing is to walk life hand in hand with Jesus Christ and truly know and love God with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength and love each person I come into contact with the same love He has shown me. To daily die to myself and have lungs filled with the breath of His life. To live a life free of sin, legalism, selfishness, opinions of others, titles, and pride. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15 says,
"For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised."
Is Christ's love truly controlling my every thought, word, action? Am I living for myself or am I living a life that is under complete, radical submission to the love and will of Jesus Christ? Although that is my heart's cry, so many times I've fallen tragically short of this calling. I somehow lose sight of why I'm still here on planet earth. I become distracted, ensnared, unfocused and before I realize it, I somehow lose focus on the only true meaning of life. I so oft forget that nothing on this earth matters except my personal relationship with Christ and precious human souls. These things are eternal; all else will burn. When reminded of that, life becomes drastically more simple. Life is so incredibly short. Ephesians 5:15-17 says,
"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. "
This knowledge and awareness, these desires, they are good and right. Although thoughts and desires are good, they are of no significance if fruit is not born as a result. My challenge to myself as well as those reading this blog is to examine your life, but don't stop at that. Are your pastimes, habits, relationships, conversations and attitudes pushing you closer or further from Christ? Are you willing to sacrifice idols that have stepped between you and Him? Remember the shortness of your days. Allow Christ's love to daily control your actions, thoughts, mindset, words. Life is too short to be controlled by anything other than the redemptive, unconditional, radical, passionate love of Jesus Christ. May our lives be more than a flicker.
"What is the secret to great living? Entire separation to Christ and devotion to Him. Thus speaks every man and woman whose life has made more than a passing flicker in the spiritual realm. It is the life that has no time for trifling that counts.”~Amy Carmichael
Sunday, October 21, 2012
As of late...
Writing is one of the few ways I feel like I can communicate with accuracy. There is something about pen and paper or fingers delicately gliding over keys...or pounding depending on the mood. No words to stumble over or people to impress. No forced smiles, conversation, or empty words. Authenticity. Writing is a window into the mind, heart, and soul of a person. As of late, my writing has been confined to pen, paper, and my thoughts. That's usually the way I like to keep it, but I feel that it is about time that my blog gets a little attention.
The last couple of months have given me opportunity to learn, feel, and grow more than I have in quite a while. Each season of life contains tremendous opportunity to grow, reflect, and change. These months have taught and are continuing to teach me more things than I could possibly express through one blog, so I won't try to. I'll just give a brief glimpse of a couple lessons the Lord is graciously teaching me.
1) Take a good, long, unbiased look in the mirror.
James 1:22-25 "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does."
This one has been quite difficult, but beautiful at the same time. The Lord has been gently, graciously exfoliating my heart and revealing to me areas of sin, brokenness, and imperfection. He has allowed me to take a good look at where I've been, where I am, and where He is taking me. He's graciously allowed opportunity for unresolved brokenness to be revealed and healing to begin. He loves me too much to leave me where I'm at. I firmly believe that the more we acknowledge our personal imperfection, all the more beautiful the perfection, grace, and redeeming love Christ becomes. I have earned the title damned sinner, but through His grace and precious blood, I am a saint. Praise Him.
2) Don't conform to the beliefs and attitudes of the world or of those surrounding you. Think and believe for yourself.
Romans 12:2 "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
Being at a Christian university is such an incredible blessing and freedom, but it can also be easy to float along and exceedingly challenging and extremely lonely to personally grow and develop into everything that God has created you to be. I've been convicted of my own conformation in certain attitudes, actions, and expectations. This realization has triggered a desire to delve deeper into the Word for myself, examine my own beliefs, motivations, and attitudes, and reconstruct target areas of my life. It has been a struggle to step back and identify the stagnant areas of my life that have remained unchanging and undeveloped as a result of personal ignorance and sinful nature, but I am so thankful for the growth that is being derived from these enlightened areas.
3) Vulnerability is the currency of any relationship.
If you desire to have deep, meaningful relationship with God, friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, etc. vulnerability is required. Now don't get me wrong, I am definitely not saying that you should give everyone around you an access key to your inner person and heart. Your personal thoughts, beliefs, past, and heart are an incredibly precious entity and need to be guarded with wisdom. Although they are to be guarded, don't allow paralyzing fear of exposure and vulnerability rob the opportunity of relationships from you. Allow people who prove to be sincere, trustworthy, honest, have your best interest at heart, and are seeking Jesus with everything and above all else into your life. Humans were not created to do life alone. Any human relationship contains an element of risk, but without that risk you will never experience the joy and growth that these relationships can bring. Keep Jesus at the center and you can trust that if/when you do get hurt, He will catch you and work all things together for your good.
Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
Welp, I believe that's all for now, folks. Thanks for reading.
The last couple of months have given me opportunity to learn, feel, and grow more than I have in quite a while. Each season of life contains tremendous opportunity to grow, reflect, and change. These months have taught and are continuing to teach me more things than I could possibly express through one blog, so I won't try to. I'll just give a brief glimpse of a couple lessons the Lord is graciously teaching me.
1) Take a good, long, unbiased look in the mirror.
James 1:22-25 "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does."
This one has been quite difficult, but beautiful at the same time. The Lord has been gently, graciously exfoliating my heart and revealing to me areas of sin, brokenness, and imperfection. He has allowed me to take a good look at where I've been, where I am, and where He is taking me. He's graciously allowed opportunity for unresolved brokenness to be revealed and healing to begin. He loves me too much to leave me where I'm at. I firmly believe that the more we acknowledge our personal imperfection, all the more beautiful the perfection, grace, and redeeming love Christ becomes. I have earned the title damned sinner, but through His grace and precious blood, I am a saint. Praise Him.
2) Don't conform to the beliefs and attitudes of the world or of those surrounding you. Think and believe for yourself.
Romans 12:2 "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
Being at a Christian university is such an incredible blessing and freedom, but it can also be easy to float along and exceedingly challenging and extremely lonely to personally grow and develop into everything that God has created you to be. I've been convicted of my own conformation in certain attitudes, actions, and expectations. This realization has triggered a desire to delve deeper into the Word for myself, examine my own beliefs, motivations, and attitudes, and reconstruct target areas of my life. It has been a struggle to step back and identify the stagnant areas of my life that have remained unchanging and undeveloped as a result of personal ignorance and sinful nature, but I am so thankful for the growth that is being derived from these enlightened areas.
3) Vulnerability is the currency of any relationship.
If you desire to have deep, meaningful relationship with God, friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, etc. vulnerability is required. Now don't get me wrong, I am definitely not saying that you should give everyone around you an access key to your inner person and heart. Your personal thoughts, beliefs, past, and heart are an incredibly precious entity and need to be guarded with wisdom. Although they are to be guarded, don't allow paralyzing fear of exposure and vulnerability rob the opportunity of relationships from you. Allow people who prove to be sincere, trustworthy, honest, have your best interest at heart, and are seeking Jesus with everything and above all else into your life. Humans were not created to do life alone. Any human relationship contains an element of risk, but without that risk you will never experience the joy and growth that these relationships can bring. Keep Jesus at the center and you can trust that if/when you do get hurt, He will catch you and work all things together for your good.
Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
Welp, I believe that's all for now, folks. Thanks for reading.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Refining Fire
Beautifully broken....seems to be both the title of my blog and the theme of my life. One of my daily heart's cries to Jesus is to break me. Jesus, do whatever you need to do to capture my heart, to mold me into what You want me to be, a refined vessel for You.
Jesus has been very faithful to answer that prayer throughout my life. I can attest to the fact that refining fire isn't called fire because it feels awesome. It feels more like being processed through a meat grinder (no bueno.) Although, the awesome thing about Jesus is that NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING in life, good or bad, hard or easy, happens in vain or without purpose. I remember a quote I heard when I was little, "You always have a choice, get bitter or get better." With each challenge, opposition, trial, or pain we face, we are given the choice. We can choose to internalize, fall in to self pity, self-analyze, dwell in guilt, believe lies, and blame God for what we're facing. Or, we can choose to embrace it and thank and praise Him for it. Say what?! Thank and praise Him for hard stuff? No, your vision does not need checked and you've just read that correctly, praise Him.
Jesus is the Master Weaver. We are only given a trivial glimpse of the masterpiece of our lives. When all we see is a mess of knots and tangled string in our lives, Jesus sees the beginnings of a grand, complex masterpiece that our simple human minds cannot begin to fathom.
Jesus has been very faithful to answer that prayer throughout my life. I can attest to the fact that refining fire isn't called fire because it feels awesome. It feels more like being processed through a meat grinder (no bueno.) Although, the awesome thing about Jesus is that NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING in life, good or bad, hard or easy, happens in vain or without purpose. I remember a quote I heard when I was little, "You always have a choice, get bitter or get better." With each challenge, opposition, trial, or pain we face, we are given the choice. We can choose to internalize, fall in to self pity, self-analyze, dwell in guilt, believe lies, and blame God for what we're facing. Or, we can choose to embrace it and thank and praise Him for it. Say what?! Thank and praise Him for hard stuff? No, your vision does not need checked and you've just read that correctly, praise Him.
Jesus is the Master Weaver. We are only given a trivial glimpse of the masterpiece of our lives. When all we see is a mess of knots and tangled string in our lives, Jesus sees the beginnings of a grand, complex masterpiece that our simple human minds cannot begin to fathom.
Where we see chaos and confusion, He sees opportunity for guidance and unexplainable, supernatural peace.
Isaiah 26:3
"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."
Psalms 37:23-24
"The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand."
When we feel pain and insecurity, Jesus sees the opportunity for a deeper healing, reassurance, and victory through Him.
Romans 8:37-39
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
When we feel completely alone, Jesus promises that He will never leave us or forsake us.
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
When we see brokenness and ashes, Jesus sees beauty.
Isaiah 61:1-3
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.
This semester has hands down been the hardest, loneliest semester since I've been at Liberty. Although it has been almost unbearably difficult at times, Jesus has proven Himself over and over. He is shaping, molding, and refining me into the woman He created me to be. He is teaching me to cling to Him and find all that I am in Him, not others. He has taught me that He is ALWAYS more than enough, ALWAYS worthy of all praise, and He will NEVER change or leave. Praise His sweet, precious name.
I hope that this is an encouragement and hope to those of you who are facing pain, hurt, challenges and trials right now. Thank you so much for taking the time to read. On a closing note, here is an awesome song that goes with this. I'm a huge fan of Brooklyn Tab :).
Friday, March 16, 2012
To Be in Your Arms
I think this is the first time I've posted any poetry/creative writing/whatever you want to call it on my blog. This is a little glimpse into my heart and my most sacred, precious relationship. Thank you for taking the time to read my sweet friends.
Just to be with you I'd do anything.
From the crevices of my desperate, disheartened soul, I cry for you.
My heart screams, Abba, Daddy, I need you.
For I know, Your love is the only love that quenches my parched, tattered soul.
Your love alone heals, restores, empowers.
Fill me.
Please, precious Abba, come take me in Your arms.
I need You to hold me.
All else in this world is meaningless.
So many times I've neglected You.
Bought into the lies of this world.
Believed that You made "junk" in forming me
Believed that satisfaction could be found somewhere other than You.
Filled myself with the lethal mire of this present darkness.
Shine Your light in me.
With a wrenched heart and empty hands, I plead,
Forgive me, my sweet Jesus.
Forgive me for the times I've allowed the roosters to crow,
I've denied Your beautiful Name.
The precious Name Above All Names.
Jesus Christ
The Name that brings life, for You are Life
Your beautiful Name,
The Name in which I find VICTORY,
Victory over lies and deception
Victory over sin
Victory over this present darkness and spiritual wickedness
Victory over one of the greatest enemies I face, myself.
Sweet Jesus,
Thank You.
Thank You that Your blood payed my debt.
Undeserving, I am.
Damned is the title I have earned.
Yet, you have adorned my with the most cherished title imaginable.
Forgiven.
Your precious child.
Oh, Abba, praise Your Holy Name.
To taste Your love is to drink of the sweetest waters.
I have drank of You and testify of Your healing power.
The power of the only love that mends tattered souls
The power of the only love that quenches love-parched hearts
How great You are
Wrap Your arms around me
Once again, whisper to me of Your love.
Fill me to overflowing with Your Spirit.
My sweet, sweet Jesus
Your arms are incomparable to mere, mortal men
Hold me in them.
My Beautiful, my Sacred, my Only
Just to be with You I'd do anything
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Past, Present, Future.
For my fifteenth birthday, my mom decided that she really wanted to get me a purity ring. I thought that it was a really cool idea, so we started looking. We didn't have to look very hard until we found the perfect one. I wasn't planning on getting anything super duper nice or expensive, so my mom and I immediately bee-lined our way to the clearance section in the jewelry department of JC Penny's. I looked down and saw the perfect one. Three emeralds (my birth stone), beautiful placement, diamonds. I immediately figured it was out of our price range. Then, when we looked at it, we saw that it was on 90% clearance!! Yeah, 90% clearance!!! We then asked the lady to take it out of the case for me to try on. It was a perfect fit. As I held this little ring in my hand, I looked at the inside and saw that there was an inscription. Between little diamonds placed on the inside, there read the words "Past, Present, Future." Just like my precious Lord.
Needless to say, this ring is very, very special to me. You'll never see me without it. It serves as a reminder of my promise to God, and His promises to me. When I look at it, I'm reminded that Jesus hand picked it out for me and I'm also reminded of His precious promises. He never changes, He never fails, He is always faithful, His love is unconditional. Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."
Something Jesus has been teaching me lately is how worthy He is. No matter how I feel, what has happened to me, or what I think, He is ALWAYS worthy and deserving of my utmost praise and adoration. Sometimes I'm not going to understand why He lets things happen or what He is doing, simply because He is God and I am not.
When we don't understand what He is doing, His timing, where He is leading or why He is letting something happen (or not happen), we need trust in His promises, His character, and most importantly, His bountiful, overflowing, all-consuming, passionate, unconditional love for us.
Needless to say, this ring is very, very special to me. You'll never see me without it. It serves as a reminder of my promise to God, and His promises to me. When I look at it, I'm reminded that Jesus hand picked it out for me and I'm also reminded of His precious promises. He never changes, He never fails, He is always faithful, His love is unconditional. Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."
Something Jesus has been teaching me lately is how worthy He is. No matter how I feel, what has happened to me, or what I think, He is ALWAYS worthy and deserving of my utmost praise and adoration. Sometimes I'm not going to understand why He lets things happen or what He is doing, simply because He is God and I am not.
Isaiah 55:8-9
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Because of who He is, He deserves our everything.
Who He is does not depend on our personal circumstances or feelings. For that, I am thankful.
When you aren't feeling anything, understanding anything, or seeing what lies ahead, trust in the One who holds the past, present and future. Dare to obey Him, to give Him your everything. See what He can do with a life fully surrendered to Him.
The world has yet to see what God can do with and for and through and in and by the man who is fully and wholly consecrated to Him. I will try my utmost to be that man. -D.L. Mood
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Lessons Learned...or Being Learned
Hey friends,
I thought that it was about time I wrote a blog. There has been so much going on lately. So many ups and downs. So much confu1sion and clarity. Many hard things and beautiful things. If I put the last 2 weeks in a blog, I think it would turn into more of a novel, so I'll spare you ;)
Where to start? Well, I'm here at school, so obviously I'm doing schoolwork. This semester is going to be my most difficult semester thus far. I'm taking 18 credit hours, have 3 weekly practicums, and 15 hours of education & psyc activities to fit in. On top of that, I'm still a Prayer Leader, which I absolutely LOVE, but that also takes time and dedication. This brings me to my first lesson.
1. The importance of detailed and achievable organization and time management.
Organization and time management is definitely not natural at all for me. I've always been the kind of "it'll be fine as long as it gets done sometime, but I'd rather go have fun right now" type. I'm learning that if I'm ever going to be an effective, productive teacher, friend, missionary, homemaker, and wife, that needs to change. Change is really hard, but it is so good. I'm becoming very close friends with my planner and sticky note system and although it is not my nature, I'm learning the benefits of a disciplined life. Among those benefits are better grades, less stress, more "free time" than I expected, more time for ministry, and just being proud of myself for finally sticking to a schedule/planner :)
2. Jesus is always, always enough and NEVER changes or fails. His presence commands our utmost worship.
This week was really hard. The beginning of the week, I was faced with some really hard things and was just really mad at God to be quite frank. I didn't understand why He lets things happen and why I was feeling so much anger and pain with a depth I haven't felt in years. Of course, being a stupid member of the human race, I decided I felt like subconsciously blaming everything on God. In my heart, I knew that I had no reason to play the blame game with God, but I did anyways. The first night of Spiritual Emphasis Week during worship, I did not have any desire to worship. God and I talk quite a bit, and I told Him, I'm angry at you and I don't feel like worshiping right now. BAMMMM. Then He spoke to me. Those piercing words of power and authority spoken with the gentleness of a kind father correcting His child. I sat down and started writing in my journal immediately. He told me He demanded worship. He is faithful, He is righteous, He is love, He is grace, He is mercy, He is truth, He is light, He is beauty, He is Creator, He is the Sustainer, He is the Deliver, He is the Healer. At His name, slaves are freed, captives are unchained, and the promises are fulfilled. HE NEVER CHANGES. His Holy presence demands reverence, worship, and awe. No matter what I feel like that day, He never changes and He deserves my utmost praise and worship.
3. Be bold, yo.
When is the last time that you did something that you knew God called you to and regretted it? Still thinking? I've concluded never. Sure, following God's lead and stepping out of your comfort zone can be really scary at first, but I've never had a time in my life that I've wished I hadn't after the fact. By being bold and allowing God to empower you to do things you never thought you were capable of, you can experience His power and the reality of God on a whole new level. When you surrender an area of your life to Him, you will be amazed at what He can accomplish through. The past couple of weeks have been scary in that area. He's asked me to do some really uncomfortable things that I would much rather ignore. I'm so glad that I didn't. Even though it has been a scary journey continuing to learn how to be bold and willing to follow His callings and promptings, it has been so amazing. There is nothing comparable to being used by Him.
4. Singleness is a wonderful, purposeful, awesome season.
I could go on and on about this one. It is not a recently learned lesson, but it has been reaffirmed that past few weeks. I believe that this season as a single young woman has most definitely been the most awesome season of my life thus far. Being at Liberty, we see many couples who appear to be Siamese twins and seem to require each other for tasks as simple as opening a can of pop. Okay, that was a little bit of sarcasm, but SERIOUSLY though, some of the couples here are a bit obnoxious. I admit, there are times that I wonder when/if God is going to bring someone into my life who will be my partner in bringing Him glory by our life together, but I'm MORE than willing to wait for His timing. Even though I don't know him,I pray for him and can't wait to be with him, but I know that he is going to be more than worth the wait. On the other hand, some people around here act like singleness is the freaking Bubonic Plague. I can not count the number of Facebook statuses that I've seen that complain about being single, wondering where all the good guys/girls are, wondering when God is going to drop prince charming on their front porch, and are a festering mire of self pity. Singleness is not a waiting season, a curse, or a time to party hardy. Singleness is a gift packed with purpose, potential, fun, and beauty. God does not create seasons of our life designated for sitting around on your rump waiting for Mr./Mrs. Right to come sweep you off your feet. Our purpose in life is to love God with ALL of our heart, mind, and soul. We were created to serve Him, be used by Him, and reach the world with the message of His Son, forgiveness, redemption, and hope. Why wait, what better time than now? No spouse, no children, and a God to who is willing to use as much of you as you are willing to give Him. Singleness is truly a gift.
5. Have fun, be crazy, live a little :)
Tonight was one of the most fun times I've had in a long time. I got to hang out with one my best friends, Lena, and we had a BLAST. Just hanging out, talking about life, Jesus, and doing crazy things. Jesus has blessed me with wonderful, FUN friends. Don't let work become such a large part of your life that you forget to enjoy the season you're in. Hang out with friends, do crazy things, live a little.
There are many other things I could write, but I'm getting sleepy and you're probably getting tired of reading this, so I'm going to peace out. Thank you for reading my hodge podge of a blog :)
I thought that it was about time I wrote a blog. There has been so much going on lately. So many ups and downs. So much confu1sion and clarity. Many hard things and beautiful things. If I put the last 2 weeks in a blog, I think it would turn into more of a novel, so I'll spare you ;)
Where to start? Well, I'm here at school, so obviously I'm doing schoolwork. This semester is going to be my most difficult semester thus far. I'm taking 18 credit hours, have 3 weekly practicums, and 15 hours of education & psyc activities to fit in. On top of that, I'm still a Prayer Leader, which I absolutely LOVE, but that also takes time and dedication. This brings me to my first lesson.
1. The importance of detailed and achievable organization and time management.
Organization and time management is definitely not natural at all for me. I've always been the kind of "it'll be fine as long as it gets done sometime, but I'd rather go have fun right now" type. I'm learning that if I'm ever going to be an effective, productive teacher, friend, missionary, homemaker, and wife, that needs to change. Change is really hard, but it is so good. I'm becoming very close friends with my planner and sticky note system and although it is not my nature, I'm learning the benefits of a disciplined life. Among those benefits are better grades, less stress, more "free time" than I expected, more time for ministry, and just being proud of myself for finally sticking to a schedule/planner :)
2. Jesus is always, always enough and NEVER changes or fails. His presence commands our utmost worship.
This week was really hard. The beginning of the week, I was faced with some really hard things and was just really mad at God to be quite frank. I didn't understand why He lets things happen and why I was feeling so much anger and pain with a depth I haven't felt in years. Of course, being a stupid member of the human race, I decided I felt like subconsciously blaming everything on God. In my heart, I knew that I had no reason to play the blame game with God, but I did anyways. The first night of Spiritual Emphasis Week during worship, I did not have any desire to worship. God and I talk quite a bit, and I told Him, I'm angry at you and I don't feel like worshiping right now. BAMMMM. Then He spoke to me. Those piercing words of power and authority spoken with the gentleness of a kind father correcting His child. I sat down and started writing in my journal immediately. He told me He demanded worship. He is faithful, He is righteous, He is love, He is grace, He is mercy, He is truth, He is light, He is beauty, He is Creator, He is the Sustainer, He is the Deliver, He is the Healer. At His name, slaves are freed, captives are unchained, and the promises are fulfilled. HE NEVER CHANGES. His Holy presence demands reverence, worship, and awe. No matter what I feel like that day, He never changes and He deserves my utmost praise and worship.
3. Be bold, yo.
When is the last time that you did something that you knew God called you to and regretted it? Still thinking? I've concluded never. Sure, following God's lead and stepping out of your comfort zone can be really scary at first, but I've never had a time in my life that I've wished I hadn't after the fact. By being bold and allowing God to empower you to do things you never thought you were capable of, you can experience His power and the reality of God on a whole new level. When you surrender an area of your life to Him, you will be amazed at what He can accomplish through. The past couple of weeks have been scary in that area. He's asked me to do some really uncomfortable things that I would much rather ignore. I'm so glad that I didn't. Even though it has been a scary journey continuing to learn how to be bold and willing to follow His callings and promptings, it has been so amazing. There is nothing comparable to being used by Him.
4. Singleness is a wonderful, purposeful, awesome season.
I could go on and on about this one. It is not a recently learned lesson, but it has been reaffirmed that past few weeks. I believe that this season as a single young woman has most definitely been the most awesome season of my life thus far. Being at Liberty, we see many couples who appear to be Siamese twins and seem to require each other for tasks as simple as opening a can of pop. Okay, that was a little bit of sarcasm, but SERIOUSLY though, some of the couples here are a bit obnoxious. I admit, there are times that I wonder when/if God is going to bring someone into my life who will be my partner in bringing Him glory by our life together, but I'm MORE than willing to wait for His timing. Even though I don't know him,I pray for him and can't wait to be with him, but I know that he is going to be more than worth the wait. On the other hand, some people around here act like singleness is the freaking Bubonic Plague. I can not count the number of Facebook statuses that I've seen that complain about being single, wondering where all the good guys/girls are, wondering when God is going to drop prince charming on their front porch, and are a festering mire of self pity. Singleness is not a waiting season, a curse, or a time to party hardy. Singleness is a gift packed with purpose, potential, fun, and beauty. God does not create seasons of our life designated for sitting around on your rump waiting for Mr./Mrs. Right to come sweep you off your feet. Our purpose in life is to love God with ALL of our heart, mind, and soul. We were created to serve Him, be used by Him, and reach the world with the message of His Son, forgiveness, redemption, and hope. Why wait, what better time than now? No spouse, no children, and a God to who is willing to use as much of you as you are willing to give Him. Singleness is truly a gift.
5. Have fun, be crazy, live a little :)
Tonight was one of the most fun times I've had in a long time. I got to hang out with one my best friends, Lena, and we had a BLAST. Just hanging out, talking about life, Jesus, and doing crazy things. Jesus has blessed me with wonderful, FUN friends. Don't let work become such a large part of your life that you forget to enjoy the season you're in. Hang out with friends, do crazy things, live a little.
There are many other things I could write, but I'm getting sleepy and you're probably getting tired of reading this, so I'm going to peace out. Thank you for reading my hodge podge of a blog :)
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