Be still

Psalms 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations,I will be exalted in the earth!"

  A lot of the time, I feel like I'm the one who needs to hear what I write the most.  Writing is such a great way to express thoughts, feelings, and lessons that I've learned or am in the process of learning.

  Something that I'm learning to let go of is what my mom calls "hyper-responsibility."  Prettymuch,  a lot of the time I feel like I have to be perfect and when I'm not perfect or make a little mistake, I feel like I'll ruin my whole life.

  Sometimes, this leads to me running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to do every little thing, trying to make every possible right choice, providing for myself, trying to make everybody happy......in my own power.  It is all done with good intentions, but in trying to do so many things "perfectly",  I'm taking away from allowing God to take care of me in every sense.

   Many times, I forget that God really can provide all my needs (Phil. 4:19).  He is very capable to give me everything that I have need of whether that be spiritually, emotionally, friendships, or physical needs.  I don't need to worry about any of these things. 

  1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,  casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

  That is a command, to cast all of my anxieties and cares on Him.  Being self-reliant and overly responsible is in no way godly.  God tells us to come and find rest and peace in Him.  To sit at His feet as Mary did and listen to Him.  Enjoy His presence and savor every glorious minute spent dwelling in His presence.  Walking in the supernatural power and provision of the Holy Spirit.  Having confidence that God is watching me, taking care of me, that He loves me SO MUCH that nothing that I could do or not do could separate me from Him.

 Matthew 11:28-30  Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

  God is patiently teaching me my least two favorite words "be still."  He is teaching me more and more that I can do nothing, I can be nothing on my own.  Its only through the enabling of the Holy Spirit that there is any good in me.

John 3:30 He must increase, but I must decrease.

  My heart's cry is that He may become everything, and myself nothing.  That I may learn to dwell in perfect peace, having faith that my God, the Creator of the universe who loves me completely, perfectly, unconditionally wants me to find perfect rest in Him, to be still and let Him reign.  I want to have a faith and assurance in Him that shakes my world.  I just want all of Him....I need all  of Him...




.....Jesus Help.

                                 

Whatever it Takes. Part 3

   It's been a few weeks since I've posted a blog, so I figured it was about time I did.  The past few weeks have been challenging, but many lessons learned as always.

   I'd have to say, my favorite pastime is probably reading.  Lame, nerdy? Yes, but I'm okay with that :]  Two of my favorite authors are Eric and Leslie Ludy.  I find their passion for serving Christ whole-heartedly, on-fire, without compromise completely inspiring.  The current book that I'm reading is Set Apart Femeninity by Leslie Ludy.  Its all about being set apart for our Prince and King, Jesus Christ.  As I've been reading this book, two questions have been going through my mind as I go through my daily life.

"Is what I'm doing honoring Christ and drawing me closer to Him"

 and

"Is what I'm doing drawing others to Him?"

   I've only been on this earth 19 years so far, but during those 19 years, I've learned more and more each day that this life really is all about Jesus.  I've learned I can't do it on my own because I wasn't created to "do life" alone.  Anything that I do in my own intrests, in my own power turns out to be empty, worthless, lacking true satisfaction.

  I want to become less and less of me.  I want to learn to become completely selfless.  My heart's cry it to truly love Jesus with ALL my heart, ALL my soul, ALL my mind and ALL my strength.  I don't want my life to look like a moral twist on the average American life, rather I want it to look like daily surrender to true Life.  I'm so excited.

  I want my life to be completely unexplainable by me.  My desire is to really live a life that can be explained only through the power of the Holy Spirit within me.

 "The Christian life can be explained only in terms of Jesus Christ, and if your life as Christian can still be explained in terms of you---your personality, your willpower, your gift, your talent, your money, your courage, your scholarship, your dedication, your sacrifice, or your anything--then although you man have the Christian life, you are not yet living it." - Ian Thomas

  It is my firm belief that true satisfaction, real joy, is found only through losing complete sight of me.  When I focus on my pain, my problems, my life,  I find myself feeling hopleless, helpless, and worthless.  Any joy or beauty that I possess is found by losing sight of myself completely.  It comes from being so consumed by my Prince and King that my life can somehow reflect His, because He is truly the only source of joy and beauty. 

"It is a tremendous freedom to get rid of all self-consideration and learn to care about only one thing---the relationship between Christ and ourselves." -Oswald Chambers

  My prayer lately has been that God remove anything in my life that is hindering me from a deeper, closer relationship with Him so that I can full force run the race,  life the life, and fulfill the purposes that He designed and created me to.  Not wasting any of the precious life that He has given to me, rather pouring it out as an offering of service, gratitude and love for my King.

Hebrews 12:1-3 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

   I challenge you to die.  I challenge you to find out what being truly alive feels like, to experience the complete joy found in the set apart life and live for the purpose you were created for.  You only have one life to live on this earth. Thank you so much for taking the time to read. :)

Loose Tooth

    Most of what I write/think/experience/feel isn't shared on my blog.  Its usually only when I feel like I'm supposed to write something or think that it would be beneficial and helpful to whoever might read it.  What I'm sharing in this blog is the core of my heart.  Its very close and dear to me, but I feel like I'm supposed to share it, so I'm going to.

    I'm having one of those moments where I have a feeling and just can't really put into words.  The best way I can think of to describe it is when you have a loose tooth.  You just want to get it out and reach it and it feels really weird and you just HAVE to do something about it.

   This summer has been one of the biggest challenges of my life.  I believe with my whole heart that it has been a season of deep preparation, like I said in a previous post, a "wax on, wax off" season.  God has been testing, trying, and molding me.  It has been hard to go through and hard to see why God has me here, but here and there I've caught glimpses of the work He is doing inside of my heart and the woman He is molding me into.

"If Jesus gives us a task or assigns us to a difficult season, every ounce of our experience is meant for our instruction and completion if only we'll let Him finish the work. I fear, however, that we are so attention-deficit that we settle for bearable when beauty is just around the corner."
— Beth Moore

   The past while, I've been overwhelmed with a desire for more of Him.  For more righteousness, for more in life, to make every single minute I live be one to make an impact for eternity.  I want to walk with Jesus Christ and to lay EVERY distraction, sin and hinderance aside.  I want Him to be all I see.  I want Him to be all that others see in me.  I want to leave every interaction, every conversation with the other person being more drawn to Jesus and thinking about Him, not me.  Thinking about the beautiful Name above every Name.  I just want to be a pointer to the One who forever has my heart and my everything.  I just want to be so consumed by and with Him that everything else is pale in comparison.  I just want His best for my life in every area.  I don't want to and refuse to settle for a mediocre, easy life.  I want to choose, I will choose to die every day in order to be alive in Christ.  I want to and will crucify my flesh, my desires, my "old man" so that I can see Chrsit alive in me.  I want to see what a life fully surrendered to Christ looks like.

"The world has yet to see what God can do with and for and through and in and by the man who is fully and wholly consecrated to Him. I will try my utmost to be that man." -D.L. Moody

  Sometimes, I just get so darn mad at myself.  I get mad for doubting God, for choosing against Him.  I feel like it is a constant battle and "killing" of my old man.  I just want sooooo badly to be living that wholly set apart for my King. 

  I'm learning that choosing to die to self is a daily decision, a daily battle.  It is daily getting on my knees and rending my heart before the Almighty.

Joel 2:12-13 “Even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.”  Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.

Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Jeremiah 29:12-14a Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD.

  We are promised that when we seek Him, when we hunger for Him, we will be filled and He will be found.  I don't want to settle for less.  I don't want to just nod my head and agree with everything I hear.  I'm hungry for more of Him, I yearn for Him.  I want to seek things out for myself, not just go along.  I want to meditate in His Word and hear Him speak.  I don't want to settle for a normal, average, comfortable life when I know there is more.  I want everything that He has in store.  I want His best, His plan.  I want to fulfill whatever purposes He created me for.  I just want all of Him.

   If you are reading this, I want to encourage you, don't give up.  Never stop, even when things get hard.  He is enough, He is always enough. Keep seeking His face, He never fails or disappoints.

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 37:4 "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

  Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.