Clarity

  Here we go again.  I'm staring at the clock and reading the time at 1:34 AM knowing that I have a 7:40 tomorrow morning.  Tonight was just one of those nights where I couldn't really sleep again.  Just a lot going on in my head and heart.

  For the past month or so, I haven't really been feeling like myself.  Can't really put my finger on it, but I just haven't felt 100% there.  I guess there are quite a few possible reasons, but I can't quite peg what it's been or if it's just a combination of a lot of different things.  Between classes, work, friendships, confusion, responsibilities, and stuff going on at home I've felt little lost.

  That being said, this fall break has been a glorious thing.  There is nothing like taking a step back from the crazyness of life and remembering what it's all really about.

  This morning, a couple of friends and I got up early to go to hiking at Peaks of Otter.  If you're a Liberty student or live near here, let me just say, it is a trip well worth making.  When we'd finished hiking to the top of the mountain, the view was absolutely breath taking.

Me at the top

  I'm kind of an "outdoorsy" kind of girl, so this was absolutely ideal.  Just looking out over the mountains, knowing that my God, my Father, my Savior, created what my eyes were beholding absolutely took my breath away.  The same God who created this majestic view that overwhelmed me so, also knows the number of hairs on my head, holds the tears I've cried and has a plan for me.  How awesome is that?  The same God who created the oceans, knows the number of the grains of sand, created the universe knows my name and has pursued me with a passionate love to win my heart.  I truly can't comprehend it, but I'm so incredibly thankful and overwhelmed by it.

  Sometimes I just need reminded of what I've already known.  Living in the reality of that love is what makes all of the difference.  Walking in the knowledge that I am loved completely and wholy, just as I am by my Almighty Creator and Father makes all of the difference.  When I'm walking in His love, it's not about me.  When I'm walking in His love, it's not about wheter I'm liked or disliked by others, or anything else partaining to me.  When I'm walking as a young woman made whole by the redeeming love of Jesus Christ, that changes everything.

  I begin to remember what really matters and why I'm here anyway.  The only things that are going to last from this world is my personal relationship with Christ and who I'm taking to Heaven with me.  All else is vapor.  Other than my personal love relationship with Him and who I'm sharing His love with, evertything else really is meaningless.  I don't want to live the kind of life where I look back and see time wasted on shallow friendships, selfish indulgence, or meaningless activity.  I want to look back and see a life that counted.  A life that radiates His love to all those I come in contact with.  A life that has no time for trifling.

James 4:14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

"What is the secret to great living? Entire separation to Christ and devotion to Him. Thus speaks every man and woman whose life has made more than a passing flicker in the spiritual realm. It is the life that has no time for trifling that counts.”~Amy Carmichael

  As I'm challenging myself, I challenge whoever might be reading this, examine your life.  When it comes down to it, what really matters?  What is going to last and what is going to burn?  Are your pursuits, pastimes and passions pushing you tward or away from Christ.?

  I'm pretty sure that I'm writing this to myself more than anybody reading it.  Its just so good to feel Him, His passion, His power again. To be reminded of the reason for my beating heart.  To feel clarity.  Now, Lord Jesus, Help me do it.

Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

 

Truth

    

     I feel like this is a bad decision.  I'm looking at my clock, knowing that it's 12:37 and I have an essay to finish, a paper to write, quiz to take & online assignment to finish over the weekend and church tomorrow morning, but I just really feel the urge to write, so I'm going to ignore my better judgement and just do it.

      To be really honest, the last couple of weeks have been kind of rough in my walk with God.  You know those times when you're seeking His face, His will, and His presence and yet you feel so far from it?  Yeah. That has been the last couple of weeks for me.  It's seemed like no matter how hard I've tried I just haven't felt like I've measured up in any aspect of life. I just don't understand what He's doing or what He wants me to do.  When I'm going through times like this, it feels so easy to fall back into old thought patterns, listen to old lies and forget who He is and who I am in Him.

      I can't say it in any other words than I need Him.  I need Him desprately. My heart longs for Him. Even though I know He's still here, still with me, it's so hard not feeling Him, not hearing His voice as clearly as I'm used to.  I crave His presence. 

     Today I was talking to my mom and expressing to her all that's been going on and some of the things I've been facing.  She told me what I really needed to hear.  She reminded me of the truth.  The truth is something that I can hold on to, something I need to hold on to even when I don't feel Him. 

     If you're reading this and know me at all, you'll know I'm kind of a goofy, quirky person and I do quirky goofy things quite frequently.   Last year I started doing something kind of quirky but really effective in my walk with God.  I started making what I call "truth cards."  When I was going through a really tough season last year and battling the Enemy's lies, I would make little index cards with the lie I was facing on one side and a verse to fight it on the other side.  I know it sounds lame, but it made all the difference in my walk with Him.

    God never changes, His Word and it's power never changes.  Feelings come and go, emotions come and go, people come and go.  He remains.  He never leaves. He is faithful.  He never fails.  He never changes. 

Hebrews 13:8  "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."

Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Psalm 37: 23-24 The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him though he may  stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

      He loves us.  As hard as it is to understand, no matter how many times I fail Him, no matter how many times I fall short, His love will never end, His love will never fail.  

Jeremiah 31:3 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness."

     I am His daughter.  I'm a child of the King.  Because I am His, I am precious in His sight.  My value doesn't come from my accomplishments, my status, my grades, or my friends.  It comes from the knowledge that I am loved and accepted completely and wholy by my beautiful Heavenly Father.

Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”

John 1:12-14 "Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God."



    
     I'm getting pretty sleepy so hopefully this blog makes sense.  It's pretty different from most of my writing, but I just felt like I was supposed to write it.  Maybe I'm just talking to myself, but maybe someone reading this needs reminded too.  I want to challenge you to remind yourself of His truth daily, because even when we don't understand what He's doing and don't really feel Him, He never changes, He never fails, He will NEVER leave.

Beautiful grace, we are weak, but He is strong.

  Sometimes I can't decide which I fancy more, reading or writing.  As of late, I seem to be finding very little time to do either.  So, I'm sitting here with a mouth full of brussel sprouts, determined to start and finish a blog within the next hour as I'm eating dinner.

    There is so much going on in my mind and heart.  So many lessons I've been learning, questions I've been asking and ways I've been growing.  It seems like God has been stretching, pressing and molding me more than ever.  The process of being made into something beautiful is a far cry from the word "comfortable."  I'm telling you, if you want to be challenged, cry out to God, asking Him, "Whatever it takes, Father, make me like Jesus."  He will be faithful to hear and answer your heart's cry. 

  Since I've started school, it's been a little crazy.  Between taking seven classes, working, and ministry, I've begun to feel a bit like butter spread over too much toast.  My mind has also been preoccupied with situations at home, not to mention, the past few days just haven't been the best since my asthma decided it was to time to kick me in the butt again, haha :P   Now, don't get me wrong, the past couple of weeks have also been some of the most rewarding, encouraging, life-changing times I've experienced.  I've witnessed God's hand stir hardened hearts, seen miracles, experienced His overwhelming love and grace,  had the opportunity of being a vessel for His use, and formed beautiful lifetime friendships.

  All of that being said, the past week or so I've been battling with feeling a bit defeated, powerless, not smart enough, and just plain out not good enough for anything or anybody.  These are areas I've struggled in in the past and for the past week, they've seemed to arise again. 

  On Sunday morning, I intentionally skipped church to go to the prayer chapel.  If you attend Liberty University and have not made a visit to the prayer chapel, I highly encourage you to do so.  It is hands down one of my favorite places on campus.  I decided to walk around back to Jerry's memorial and just sat there basking in the morning sunlight and spent time with my Father.  It was such a precious, sweet time with Him.  As  I was sitting there spending time with Him, I was convicted of the root of these feelings of defeat, being powerless, and not good enough.  The root of them was me.  I'd begun to shift my focus on me.  My faults, my words, my actions, my feelings.  By selfishly focusing my thoughts and focus on myself, I'd begun to take my eyes from Jesus beautiful face and shifted them to my faults.  Instead of reveling in His overwhelming grace, beauty, love, power, and presence, I was distracted by myself, my faults. 

  My favorite verses in the Bible come from 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, where Paul says,

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

  Every time I read these verses, my heart is moved.  I'm completely aware of my weakness. I know I'm unfaithful, sinful, very faulted, I make mistakes, I say the wrong things, and am altogether worthless on my own.  What I also know is that I have been given abundant, overwhelming grace.  My heart has been enticed and captured by the One who knows each of my faults, yet loves me with an unrelenting love.  As I look into His beautiful face, I'm reminded that He has chosen me, loved me, forgiven me, given me a new name and made me whole.  My life is not my own.  It bears the name of the One who knows the number of hairs on my head (Luke 12:6-7) and drew me to Himself with loving kindness (Titus 3:4-7).  My life is no longer about me, my faults or shortcomings.  I was freed from myself and bought with a price.

1 Corinthians 7:22-23 For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave.  You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings.

  He has called me His own.  My heart is branded with His seal.  Beautiful grace, I'm so overwhelmed, so undeserving.  How can I focus on my own faults when I have my precious, beautiful Savior to live for?  Praise Your sweet name, Jesus.



Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Thought I'd also share my new favorite song that seems to fit along pretty well with this blog :)

 "For You I sing and dance, rejoice in this divine romance, lift my heart and lift my hands to show my love, to show my love."





Be still

Psalms 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations,I will be exalted in the earth!"

  A lot of the time, I feel like I'm the one who needs to hear what I write the most.  Writing is such a great way to express thoughts, feelings, and lessons that I've learned or am in the process of learning.

  Something that I'm learning to let go of is what my mom calls "hyper-responsibility."  Prettymuch,  a lot of the time I feel like I have to be perfect and when I'm not perfect or make a little mistake, I feel like I'll ruin my whole life.

  Sometimes, this leads to me running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to do every little thing, trying to make every possible right choice, providing for myself, trying to make everybody happy......in my own power.  It is all done with good intentions, but in trying to do so many things "perfectly",  I'm taking away from allowing God to take care of me in every sense.

   Many times, I forget that God really can provide all my needs (Phil. 4:19).  He is very capable to give me everything that I have need of whether that be spiritually, emotionally, friendships, or physical needs.  I don't need to worry about any of these things. 

  1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,  casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

  That is a command, to cast all of my anxieties and cares on Him.  Being self-reliant and overly responsible is in no way godly.  God tells us to come and find rest and peace in Him.  To sit at His feet as Mary did and listen to Him.  Enjoy His presence and savor every glorious minute spent dwelling in His presence.  Walking in the supernatural power and provision of the Holy Spirit.  Having confidence that God is watching me, taking care of me, that He loves me SO MUCH that nothing that I could do or not do could separate me from Him.

 Matthew 11:28-30  Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

  God is patiently teaching me my least two favorite words "be still."  He is teaching me more and more that I can do nothing, I can be nothing on my own.  Its only through the enabling of the Holy Spirit that there is any good in me.

John 3:30 He must increase, but I must decrease.

  My heart's cry is that He may become everything, and myself nothing.  That I may learn to dwell in perfect peace, having faith that my God, the Creator of the universe who loves me completely, perfectly, unconditionally wants me to find perfect rest in Him, to be still and let Him reign.  I want to have a faith and assurance in Him that shakes my world.  I just want all of Him....I need all  of Him...




.....Jesus Help.

                                 

Whatever it Takes. Part 3

   It's been a few weeks since I've posted a blog, so I figured it was about time I did.  The past few weeks have been challenging, but many lessons learned as always.

   I'd have to say, my favorite pastime is probably reading.  Lame, nerdy? Yes, but I'm okay with that :]  Two of my favorite authors are Eric and Leslie Ludy.  I find their passion for serving Christ whole-heartedly, on-fire, without compromise completely inspiring.  The current book that I'm reading is Set Apart Femeninity by Leslie Ludy.  Its all about being set apart for our Prince and King, Jesus Christ.  As I've been reading this book, two questions have been going through my mind as I go through my daily life.

"Is what I'm doing honoring Christ and drawing me closer to Him"

 and

"Is what I'm doing drawing others to Him?"

   I've only been on this earth 19 years so far, but during those 19 years, I've learned more and more each day that this life really is all about Jesus.  I've learned I can't do it on my own because I wasn't created to "do life" alone.  Anything that I do in my own intrests, in my own power turns out to be empty, worthless, lacking true satisfaction.

  I want to become less and less of me.  I want to learn to become completely selfless.  My heart's cry it to truly love Jesus with ALL my heart, ALL my soul, ALL my mind and ALL my strength.  I don't want my life to look like a moral twist on the average American life, rather I want it to look like daily surrender to true Life.  I'm so excited.

  I want my life to be completely unexplainable by me.  My desire is to really live a life that can be explained only through the power of the Holy Spirit within me.

 "The Christian life can be explained only in terms of Jesus Christ, and if your life as Christian can still be explained in terms of you---your personality, your willpower, your gift, your talent, your money, your courage, your scholarship, your dedication, your sacrifice, or your anything--then although you man have the Christian life, you are not yet living it." - Ian Thomas

  It is my firm belief that true satisfaction, real joy, is found only through losing complete sight of me.  When I focus on my pain, my problems, my life,  I find myself feeling hopleless, helpless, and worthless.  Any joy or beauty that I possess is found by losing sight of myself completely.  It comes from being so consumed by my Prince and King that my life can somehow reflect His, because He is truly the only source of joy and beauty. 

"It is a tremendous freedom to get rid of all self-consideration and learn to care about only one thing---the relationship between Christ and ourselves." -Oswald Chambers

  My prayer lately has been that God remove anything in my life that is hindering me from a deeper, closer relationship with Him so that I can full force run the race,  life the life, and fulfill the purposes that He designed and created me to.  Not wasting any of the precious life that He has given to me, rather pouring it out as an offering of service, gratitude and love for my King.

Hebrews 12:1-3 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

   I challenge you to die.  I challenge you to find out what being truly alive feels like, to experience the complete joy found in the set apart life and live for the purpose you were created for.  You only have one life to live on this earth. Thank you so much for taking the time to read. :)

Loose Tooth

    Most of what I write/think/experience/feel isn't shared on my blog.  Its usually only when I feel like I'm supposed to write something or think that it would be beneficial and helpful to whoever might read it.  What I'm sharing in this blog is the core of my heart.  Its very close and dear to me, but I feel like I'm supposed to share it, so I'm going to.

    I'm having one of those moments where I have a feeling and just can't really put into words.  The best way I can think of to describe it is when you have a loose tooth.  You just want to get it out and reach it and it feels really weird and you just HAVE to do something about it.

   This summer has been one of the biggest challenges of my life.  I believe with my whole heart that it has been a season of deep preparation, like I said in a previous post, a "wax on, wax off" season.  God has been testing, trying, and molding me.  It has been hard to go through and hard to see why God has me here, but here and there I've caught glimpses of the work He is doing inside of my heart and the woman He is molding me into.

"If Jesus gives us a task or assigns us to a difficult season, every ounce of our experience is meant for our instruction and completion if only we'll let Him finish the work. I fear, however, that we are so attention-deficit that we settle for bearable when beauty is just around the corner."
— Beth Moore

   The past while, I've been overwhelmed with a desire for more of Him.  For more righteousness, for more in life, to make every single minute I live be one to make an impact for eternity.  I want to walk with Jesus Christ and to lay EVERY distraction, sin and hinderance aside.  I want Him to be all I see.  I want Him to be all that others see in me.  I want to leave every interaction, every conversation with the other person being more drawn to Jesus and thinking about Him, not me.  Thinking about the beautiful Name above every Name.  I just want to be a pointer to the One who forever has my heart and my everything.  I just want to be so consumed by and with Him that everything else is pale in comparison.  I just want His best for my life in every area.  I don't want to and refuse to settle for a mediocre, easy life.  I want to choose, I will choose to die every day in order to be alive in Christ.  I want to and will crucify my flesh, my desires, my "old man" so that I can see Chrsit alive in me.  I want to see what a life fully surrendered to Christ looks like.

"The world has yet to see what God can do with and for and through and in and by the man who is fully and wholly consecrated to Him. I will try my utmost to be that man." -D.L. Moody

  Sometimes, I just get so darn mad at myself.  I get mad for doubting God, for choosing against Him.  I feel like it is a constant battle and "killing" of my old man.  I just want sooooo badly to be living that wholly set apart for my King. 

  I'm learning that choosing to die to self is a daily decision, a daily battle.  It is daily getting on my knees and rending my heart before the Almighty.

Joel 2:12-13 “Even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.”  Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.

Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Jeremiah 29:12-14a Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD.

  We are promised that when we seek Him, when we hunger for Him, we will be filled and He will be found.  I don't want to settle for less.  I don't want to just nod my head and agree with everything I hear.  I'm hungry for more of Him, I yearn for Him.  I want to seek things out for myself, not just go along.  I want to meditate in His Word and hear Him speak.  I don't want to settle for a normal, average, comfortable life when I know there is more.  I want everything that He has in store.  I want His best, His plan.  I want to fulfill whatever purposes He created me for.  I just want all of Him.

   If you are reading this, I want to encourage you, don't give up.  Never stop, even when things get hard.  He is enough, He is always enough. Keep seeking His face, He never fails or disappoints.

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 37:4 "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

  Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

We are Ambassadors.

   I'm writing this with a heavy heart.  My heart isn't heavy because of something that has happened to me or a friend.  It isn't heavy because of an outward circumstance really, its just reality.  My heart is heavy becuase I'm feeling the burden of lost, broken souls.

    This summer, I've been surrounded almost always by people who don't share my faith and belief in Jesus Christ.  Other than my mom and brother and church on Sunday, all of my time is spent with people who haven't seen the glorious light of Jesus Christ.  They haven't experienced His healing, they haven't felt His power or His joy.  They have no hope or eternal security.  They have experienced the pleasure of this world, but not the pleasure of a relationship with the Creator of this world.  It really has me thinking, searching, yearning for more of Him.

  Today when I got off of work, I just had kind of a bad attitude.  I was really missing Liberty and my friends from there, missing being around other believers, missing feeling God's presence in a group setting, missing worship.  I was focusing inward, being selfish.  I was thinking about everything that I missed and longed for rather than the mission field God has placed me in.

   As I started to fall asleep tonight, a rush of sorrow filled my heart.  I started crying.  Reality struck.  Most of the people I interact with on a daily basis are on their way to Hell.  If I really believe in the Bible, which I do, the only way one can come into the Kingdom of God is through Jesus Christ and Him alone.

   I wholeheartedly believe that the "real world" is one of the hardest mission fields.  Working in a secular workplace, having unsaved extended family, interacting with unsaved neighbors, it it a mission field.  This mission field isn't usually advertised at churches, it isn't usually one that recieves special attention, or a title.  We are the day in day out ambassadors of Jesus Christ in places where His beautiful Name is used more frequently as a curse than the Name above all Names. All who are believers in Jesus Christ are called to be bold witnesses and not only represent our King by our actions, but by our words and spirit.  We are called to be a light in dark places, to shamelessly defend our King and proclaim His truth to those who may have never heard.

   What do we have?  What makes us different?  What makes us more than a smiling face or kind word.  What makes us different than them?  Is there something that we have that they don't?  Are we more than morals and rules? How can they tell if we are different?  How can they see the light of Jesus Christ rather than just another happy face?

  I'm asking myself these questions.  Can my coworkers, friends, family and neighbors see anything different in me?  Do they see more than a bubbly personality and friendly smile?  Do they see the power of a supernatural force evidenced in the way I live?  ...I don't know...I sure hope so.

Matthew 5:43-48 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

  I want this.  I want to be light in dark places.  I want to be perfect and love like my Father, to love my enemy and pray for those who tease, gossip about and mistreat me because of my faith.I want to be a Holy Spirit filled, walking powerhouse.  I want my actions, words, and entire being to be consumed with a passion to share my Savior, my King with a dying world.  I want to live every day with the knowledge that it could be my last.  How did I spend today, did I make an eternal impact through complete surrender to my Savior and His Holy Spirit?

   I don't want a lukewarm faith. I want a passionate, on fire, blazing,world changing faith.  Whether I'm overseas, or here in DuBois, I want to be faithful to represent my King.  I feel called to full-time ministry in the future, but I want to be faithful now, even as a grocery store missionary.  I want to surrender my pride and worrying about what others think of me to be a bold witness for my King, laying every hinderance aside.

Romans 12:1-2 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

  I'm writing this to challenge and encourage my fellow believers to be bold ambassadors for our King.  Represent Him shamelessly.  Be in His Word, seeking His face, His power, His Holy Spirit every morning.  We can do nothing, and I mean nothing, in our own power.  Our true rest, power, and strength comes from His presence alone. We can not be ambassadors for a King we don't really know or spend time with.  Being an ambassador for Jesus Christ is way more than posting a Bible verse on facebook, its allowing Him to use our bodies, mouths, actions, everything and everywhere we go to represent Him.

  I'm also writing this to ask for prayer.  I've been growing kind of discouraged and really lacking
close Christian friends at home. I'm in need of a support system of believing, like-minded friends
here.  I have so many close Christ seeking friends at school, but when I come home, sometimes I sort of feel alone.  My heart longs for a few friends here to really "run the race" with.

  Thank you to everyone who reads my blog, it really means so much.  Also, feel free to offer any feedback :)